Wednesday, April 05, 2006

"Hey boys, want some PUNCH?"

I basically ignore pre-teen children. But then, Hickey Freeman placed this ad in the New York Times featuring these two future insufferable i-bankers. This is why New York City needs more Nelson Muntzes. First: Since their junior Wall Street outfits will get ripped and bloodstained from the repeated bully poundings, Mommy Socialite and Daddy Analyst will stop peeling off the greenbacks for this abhorrent clothing—not to stop the beatings but because the purchases will become bad investments. Second: The poundings will teach Carson & Justin hard life lessons that would otherwise escape them.

12 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Kids who beat the living shit out of these shit-bags aren't bullies. They're Darwinists.

10:12 AM  
Blogger Mindspy said...

Tell you what, i've been playing Dungeons and Dragons for the better part of a decade and even I want to beat the shit out of these kids.

10:46 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Carson and Justin aren't wearing socks, either. Now if Justin would just pop his collar...

10:52 AM  
Anonymous LisaBinDaCity said...

OY.

3:46 PM  
Blogger ninaberries said...

what, no mention of the manpris? or boypris or whatever the hell they are. also, that coat on the right is fucking hideous. oh and also, wicker is gross.

9:51 PM  
Anonymous archeress said...

So upper east side. I wonder if these little bastards know how to skip a stone or pump up a bicycle tire. There might be hope for the one on the left. The other one, forget it. Soul has already fled.

11:24 PM  
Blogger Make the logo bigger said...

Bully problem? Looks more like they have insider trading scheme/prostitution ring at Choate written all over their future.

2:15 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

you can already tell that they're gay.

5:56 PM  
Blogger Matt said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

2:13 PM  
Blogger Matt said...

knowing how to pump up bike tires might only make them more pathetic: even rich Williamsburg hipsters on their bikes can do it.

2:14 PM  
Blogger A Million Paths said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

1:35 PM  
Blogger A Million Paths said...

I love how everyone, no matter how depraved their profession, always feels that it could be worse...they could be an I-Banker. It's like "Yes I'm a serial killer and I murder babies and eat them, but it could be worse: I could be an I-Banker. Copyranter, you're an ad man. You and your ilk get toddlers hopped up on candy covered crack on the one hand and then sell them rehab with the other. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy a good ad, but let's not get on a soap box about who's the biggest shithead in town.

1:44 PM  

Post a Comment

<< Home