Thursday, March 30, 2006

Time to egest (thank you Roget).

I hate Watches. (I know, 'what don't you hate, asshole?'). Anyway, meet the Flower™ (Yes, they trademarked the name. Hilarious). I stumbled across it in the overly obnoxious Hollywood Life magazine. A call to Meyers' toll-free number, and nice lady quoted me the price of $15,700. Or, for about $15,699 less, you could eat a bag of skittles, stick your finger down your throat, throw up on your wrist, stick your cheap Timex® piece in the goo, and wait for the project to harden.

19 Comments:

Blogger Mindspy said...

And for some reason I get the opinion that that concoction would look better too.

8:16 AM  
Blogger Cranky said...

Copyranter, you are my mentor

9:06 AM  
Blogger Logan said...

I guess this makes the pussy advert look good.

9:47 AM  
Blogger What we need are more problems said...

Yes, I actually laffed outloud after reading your post. Drat.

10:53 AM  
Anonymous angelina said...

holy shit, hands down your best post to date.

1:01 PM  
Blogger Evil Discussor said...

Copyranter, I want to put my wee wee in your hoo hoo.

1:03 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

You bitch so much, I'm surprised to find out you're a dude.

2:53 PM  
Blogger copyranter said...

"...but I break just like a little girl."

3:08 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

This is the best blog I've ever read hands down, no doubt. Better than gawker and the rest....enough ass kissing...

3:25 PM  
Blogger dancing at gunpoint said...

I think I saw Tucker Carlson wearing that watch on tv the other night?

3:43 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Now THAT made me laugh.

4:02 PM  
Blogger Make the logo bigger said...

cr - Get the Olsen twins and Lindsey Lohan to make their own limited edition celebrity versions – why not, the skittles wouldn’t stay down for long anyway. Add an AIDS charity angle to it and there you go. You could triple that asking price on ebay.

4:04 PM  
Blogger Tara's World said...

The watch looks a little like something I saw on the news the other day... pet cockroaches that have crystals glued to them and you wear them on a leash and they are supposedly "living jewlery.. I swear I am not making this up! If you want the link the e-mail me

5:14 PM  
Anonymous shadow said...

that hot bitch Jessica Cutler posted about them roaches last week.

and yes, I would like to golden shower her. aren't I original.

7:37 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I, too, am an advertising copywriter. After being fucked for 16 years by clients, I'm glad I can get my Flower back for a mere 15k.

12:27 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

just shut up and write my shitty copy, shakespeare.
you bitch more than my little sister.
it figures youd be into zeppelin. that shit was so 40 years ago, you dinosaur.

ps. can you spice up your blog about 23%? it just doesn't cut it.

with love,
a marketing guy

2:15 PM  
Anonymous another dinosaur said...

breaks just like a little girl...um, last i checked that was dylan, not zeppelin

3:58 PM  
Anonymous yomama said...

marketing guy is too busy listening to stereolab in order to get his musical references right.

12:41 PM  
Anonymous A guy said...

wateva hey hu wants to be my mentor? :P

9:42 PM  

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