Wednesday, March 15, 2006

Are You Willing To Die for Digital Media, Beth Comstock?

That’s Beth, over there on the right. She is the newly appointed “president of digital media and market development” for NBC Universal, and your “keynoter” for the Television Bureau of Advertising’s annual marketing conference April 20th at the Javits Center here in NYC. My suggestion? Go there and assassinate her. She can do more for our noble cause dead then she ever will alive.
(note to overly-sensitive readers: I am not really advocating her assassination.)
(ad from March 13th issue of Broadcasting & Cable)

21 Comments:

Anonymous shadow said...

plus, her picture could be used on t-shirts sold online only, maybe even dollar bills? (market development?)
oh such potential.

10:38 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

you're going a little too far here. i have no idea who this woman is, but "go there and assassinate her"? that's not funny.

10:38 AM  
Anonymous shadow said...

hey they could've used that cartoon over live image effect on her face.

10:42 AM  
Anonymous shadow said...

sure this isn't a DIvorce Lawyer comparison ad? or Real Estate?

10:49 AM  
Anonymous Scott said...

Anonymous: actually it is funny. The funniest CR post in a week or two in fact.

I've taken the liberty of selecting some Che quotes that I think she should use in her keynote, you know, to punch it up a bit:

“In fact, if Christ himself stood in my way, I, like Nietzsche, would not hesitate to squish him like a worm”

“Cruel leaders are replaced only to have new leaders turn cruel!”

“I know you are here to kill me. Shoot, coward, you are only going to kill a man (woman).”

10:57 AM  
Anonymous Again said...

I can't believe they got Che Guevara to speak at the TVB '06 conference. That guy must be in his 80s by now. I saw him at a leadership success seminar about 10 years ago, he was great.

11:02 AM  
Blogger Evil Discussor said...

I'm glad you asked. No, I am not willing to die for digital media. That would be crazy. I'm not even sure what digital media is. But, on the other hand, I am willing to die for Beth Comstock. I am quite sweet on her. Her well-coifed locks and pearly whites. I'll take a bullet for her any day.

So there's my answer in a nutshell.

Sincerely,
E.D.

11:16 AM  
Anonymous br said...

cr - i think this is one of your best posting. love it man!

i hate ads that compare a hack with a someone great. this greatness-by-association with dead people should indeed be made look ridiculous.

11:45 AM  
Anonymous LisaB said...

Is it my imagination or is Ranter ever grumpier than usual?

1:21 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I know Che got shot, but George Washington didn't get shot. The Father of His Country lived until wealthy old age, surrounded by a household full of slaves that did his bidding.

I dunno if that's more like advertising or less like it.

2:16 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"I know Che got shot, but George Washington didn't get shot."

Hey, asshole. Does the name JOHN WILKES BOOTH mean nothing to you??!??!

3:55 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

um, other asshole. does the name abe lincoln mean anything to YOU?

3:58 PM  
Blogger dancing at gunpoint said...

Everyone knows that Beth is going to die at the hands of the Bolivian Army, just like Che.

6:56 PM  
Blogger blip said...

John Wilkes Booth killed Washington by dropping a cherry tree on him from the sixth floor window of the Texas School Book Depository.

9:16 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I've known plenty of Beth's in my day. One less Beth in the world will mean nothing except to her stupid little family who she sees only once a year at Christmas.

I say, "OFF WITH HER HEAD!"

10:26 PM  
Blogger Cranky said...

Are you guys learning history from Wikipedia?

11:27 PM  
Blogger Make the logo bigger said...

"John Wilkes Booth killed Washington by dropping a cherry tree on him from the sixth floor window of the Texas School Book Depository"

Then escaped by running across the grassy knoll.

12:33 AM  
Anonymous longislandnation said...

And if you image-Google "Beth Comstock" you get 72 matches, 80% of which are headstones. What does this mean?

10:13 AM  
Anonymous shadow said...

that means throw her in a river

11:31 PM  
Anonymous Jumper Bailey said...

This is a pretty amazing ad, given that the seminar is an industry event. It doesn't really inspire confidence in those contemplating a major TV buy. I mean, if they can put out a piece which causes people to draw comparisons between the speaker and major historical figures (and how can any keynote speaker short of a major historical figure fare well in such a comparison?) then it makes you wonder how they'll handle your ad needs.

And I was just about to cut a huge check to NBC to promote my little blog.

Oh, well. Scratch that, I guess.

1:03 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

ok hi you all i dont get why yo are all talking trash about my aunt i bet you dont belive that i am her necie but i am and she is my hero so if you all could be alittle more mature then a 12 year old then you all must be pretty weird ok so shut dont be so annoying and she is good women and a amazing aunt she is my hero so please done trash her

11:49 AM  

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