SCARY Ellis

Don’t know how widespread this ad atrocity is, but the deadest of dead (RIP, Perry) fashion labels Perry Ellis has started a serial-comic campaign within the last couple of weeks in the New York Times. It is ridiculously badly written and utterly unentertaining (I dare you to read all 3 scenarios.). Our nameless super hetero hero (the one with the beer)—let’s call him “Ellis”—has a great blonde girlfriend named Morgan (naturally). And, of course, a hot redhead across the bar is flirting with him. And of course he has a great job, but another company has an even greater job opp for him. And of course he has a great philosophy that goes like this:
“The secret to my professional success is that I relish challenges—I see a problem as just another opportunity for a solution. So I figured, why not apply this to my personal life?”
And of course, this makes me want to throw out my entire wardrobe and replace it with Perry Ellis Wear. "(BANG BANG BANG) OPEN UP PERRY ELLIS STORE! (BANG BANG BANG) I AM HERE TO BUY ONE OF EVERYTHING!