Today, I am a CEO.
(An open letter from a copywriter writing a letter for a CEO)
Dear Valued Reader:
This is one of those banner days in ad copywriting where I get to write a letter for a CEO. That's right. Mr. High Tech Genius, Creator of his own proprietary high tech product, Founder of his own high tech company, doesn't write his own high tech letters to his own high tech customers. No, he gives the assignment to his MBA marketing manager who, instead of writing it, gives the assignment to our tech-savvy MBA account executive who, instead of writing it, gives the assignment to me——Mr. 2.8 GPA Son Of Appalachian Trail Hillbillies Who Spelt (sic) At A 5th Grade Level When He Was In 8th Grade. This will be about the 100th time I've had to do this. I know U.S. Presidents have speech writers, but they are always, you know, smarter than their CEOs. There are only two explanations here: 1. Mr. CEO is lazy. 2. Mr. CEO has no arms. Here's how I'm starting the letter:
Dear Valued Customer: