Thursday, September 27, 2007

The closest I've ever come to firebombing a store.


I love Halloween. It's your one chance to be a total Dickwad or walking bOOb, unless of course you're already one the other 364 days of the year. That said, I do not love Christmas. To call me a Grinch doesn't even come close to describing how much I despise December 25th. This wonderful photoshopped pic at least gets you in the neighborhood of my hatred. It's an evil, evil day. Here's proof.
I hadn't walked by the old Tower Records location on lower Broadway in quite a while, until this morning at 7:35 am.
It's September Fucking 27th, Toys-R-MotherFucking-Us. Yesterday, it was near 90 degrees. You're lucky I didn't find a stray Molotov cocktail in the streets, otherwise, I swear, I would've, at least, maybe, considered raising the temperature inside your new store to, oh, about 1500 degrees Celsius.
(answer to the question "What is the temperature of fire?" found here!)

5 Comments:

Blogger Rococo Cocoa said...

did you notice that that R looks like a butt and legs with a snowflake placement a blogger only dreams of?

Now open!

10:10 AM  
Anonymous Daddy-O said...

Yeah, the local not-Wal-Mart discount chain mega-retailer in my neck of the woods had a bunch of holiday shit up already when I was in there the other day. It was unbelievable.

Rococo, based on your suggestion - which I agree with - that would mean Jeffy's getting a little "fisty" with the R. Not sure that's what the children need to be seeing. Won't anyone think of the children?

12:21 PM  
Blogger Richard said...

@Rococo. Combine that with the idea that the only person who has a butt that size and red pants is Santa and you've got some child-traumatizing imagery (and won't somebody please think about the children?).

The "Now Open" sign just adds a little frosting to the cake.

1:09 PM  
Anonymous Andrew said...

Goatse for kids?

4:39 PM  
Blogger Make the logo bigger said...

Since we’ve sunk so low, maybe they’ll do a limited edition SVU tie-in with Geoffrey and a “Show us where he touched you” giraffe.

You know, for the children.

10:32 PM  

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