Thursday, October 18, 2007

China's Thermonuclear Sperm Rockets.


(click ad to better witness the end/beginning of life)
In my World Wide Web search for Viagra TV spots to post in yesterday's Lies Well Disguised column, I came across the above scary as fuck ad for the little blue pills via Dentsu's Beijing office. And it is here, I think, that we discover the final piece of the People's Republic of China's master plan for complete world domination: First, every one of their 2 billion or so men will take 4 Viagra tablets every single day; Second, the men will be forced to masturbate for 18 hours a day, at a heady rate; Third, all the sperm will be collected and stored in a secret underground refrigerated bunker; Fourth—China will launch an endless barrage of ICBMs with sperm payloads into space in the hope that at least one of them will get through our missile defense shield and impregnate Mother Earth.
(image source)
previously in pill ads:
4. Proof that your girlfriend plays the gluteal tuba.
1. Viva Viagra! Long Live Erections!
2. Hey Pal? Does Your Dick Suck?
3. The BEANO jingle.
related: ...actually, it's a Raging Chubb.

7 Comments:

Blogger Nightcrush said...

"I'll make a real planet of Pluto yet!"

11:47 AM  
Blogger Make the logo bigger said...

Ovaries of Mass Destruction.

1:07 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Um...blue balls?

1:12 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Wait, this can't be real... they approved this? It's not some portfolio student's senior project?

3:45 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Deep bass voiceover:
Cum so hard you break her ovaries in half.

Alternative:
Cum so hard you'll think you've just unleashed world war three. Viagra...are you man enough?

Alternative two:
Cum so hard you'll need a carbon-fiber-reinforced cock sheath just to keep from injuring yourself. And her eggs? Forget about it. They're TOAST. Viagra. Cock-sheath sold seperately.

3:51 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Wow. That Dentsu site is wild. Love the elevator SHAFT going up and down as their opening visual.
Fitting, I suppose, given the ad we're all discussing.

4:20 PM  
Blogger Eric said...

This could be the ad version of the word "ravel." (Or maybe the ad version of Deon Sanders?)

Slap a Trojan logo on it (esp. in China) and it goes both ways!

3:25 PM  

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