China's Thermonuclear Sperm Rockets.
(click ad to better witness the end/beginning of life)
In my World Wide Web search for Viagra TV spots to post in yesterday's Lies Well Disguised column, I came across the above scary as fuck ad for the little blue pills via Dentsu's Beijing office. And it is here, I think, that we discover the final piece of the People's Republic of China's master plan for complete world domination: First, every one of their 2 billion or so men will take 4 Viagra tablets every single day; Second, the men will be forced to masturbate for 18 hours a day, at a heady rate; Third, all the sperm will be collected and stored in a secret underground refrigerated bunker; Fourth—China will launch an endless barrage of ICBMs with sperm payloads into space in the hope that at least one of them will get through our missile defense shield and impregnate Mother Earth.
previously in pill ads:
4. Proof that your girlfriend plays the gluteal tuba.
1. Viva Viagra! Long Live Erections!
2. Hey Pal? Does Your Dick Suck?
3. The BEANO jingle.
related: ...actually, it's a Raging Chubb.