Planet-raping oil industry claims they're actually just innocently kissing Mother Earth.

This cutesy 60-second spot, which I first saw posted last month, features the most dubiously cutesy ad metaphor I've seen since State Street equated high-risk SPDR ETFs with adorable Fox Terrier puppy love. OLF (Oljeindustriens Landsforening), the Norwegian Oil Industry Association, would like us all to know that their phallic, violent drilling exploration efforts are exactly like a cute little boy shyly kissing lots of girls. But what the girls don't know is that they'll all soon be dead because evil oil boy's lips are coated with toxic benzine. Time for an oil company cute-off! Who wins: OLF's kissy kissing, Shell's cutesy flower-emitting smoke stacks, or bp's cutesy-wootsey logo lock-up?