The craziest, child-porniest chocolate milk ad in history.

(click ad, via) Give you children Cocomalt (of Hoboken!), with vitamin D, three times a day, Mom. Otherwise, you'll have to send them out sledding in only their diapers and sun hats. Or send them to the Sun Lamp Lab of the evil Doctor Molesto. Previously in disturbing vintage ads:
• A most disturbing dishwasher ad.
• The rapey Broomsticks slacks ads.
• Suffocate babies with Cellophane®.
• Lucky's fat tar-colored doppelgängers.