Thursday, April 13, 2006

Increase Market Share With Byzantine Chants.

This week's Crain's NY Business has a profile on James Speros, new Marketing Chief at financial services firm Marsh & McLennan. He's a Marketing Lifer, with previous stretches at Ernst & Young and AT&T (apparently he will only work for you if you have an ampersand in your name). Boring stuff, I know. BUT, lucky for us the now ubiquitous iPod playlist was included in his Personnel File. Let's take a look at the "secrets of his success." He's a good listener? Yeah, of bad music. Aha! There it is! No "unorthodox" marketing methods for him. He probably pumps the chants in over the company-wide intercom system.
Whatever the fuck you believe might work, James.
Happy Various Religious Holidays, everybody. (back Monday).


Anonymous Anonymous said...

What's wrong with Byzantine chants you clown?

Can we see your playlists you shit?

11:16 AM  
Blogger copyranter said...

OK, I'll click "random." How bout that. It's audio of your mom fucking David Ogilvy's corpse.

11:31 AM  
Blogger Spunk said...

Hahaha Thats hilarious cr...yur posting is funny, but your responses to Anon.'s of the world is what cracks me up the most. Would your reply be the same if that person is not Anon? Because, I have seen you respond gently to non-anon criticisms.

11:41 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Nothing wrong with Byzantine chants, per se. But there's EVERYTHING wrong with some C-Level douche bag including it his ten-line long Personnel box.

Me thinks he looked over his submission and found it a bit too... um, FUCKING BORING! So, being the big CMO swinging dick that he is, he lied.

He's also lying about liking jazz, too -- he just wants to appear sophisticated. Why identify James Taylor and Billy Joel by name and then include 'jazz'?

2:43 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Does this mean that someday you may have to submit your iPod track listing as part of your performance review?

3:14 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

yes, Ben, let's see the CR ipod list now.

3:41 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I like "jazz" with a lowercase "j." Kenny Gs up--hos down.

4:02 PM  
Blogger Tracy Kaufman said...

I think the Byzantine chants look like all that he's got going for him on that list. And something about the way he lists plain old "jazz" as an unexplained, broad genre suggests that he's listening to Diana Krall and not Rahsaan Roland Kirk. "Good listener" my foot! I spit on your playlist!

4:20 PM  
Blogger Krissythegroupie said...

Seriously. That's a douchebag playlist, plain n'simple. My grandpa listens to better music than that.

12:27 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"OK, I'll click "random." How bout that. It's audio of your mom fucking David Ogilvy's corpse."

Madison Ave O&M mix or is that the UK version?

6:56 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

This guy is no trendspotter. Byzantine Chants are so early 90s.

4:32 PM  
Blogger ninaberries said...

trendspotter? he's in marketing. no one expects him to be capable of things like the ability to "spot trends" or have taste or style or wit. it's marketing for god's sake. that's what you do when you can't do anything else.

5:44 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

In my country music of this rides airwaves of many discos. Many discos I get lucky at with this music. I make sex very much to Diana Krall and Byzantine chants. Mostly on floors of bathrooms of discos. Many discos, many floors, so many vaginas.

2:07 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

What the heck is a Byzantine chant?

Color me oblivious I guess.

10:30 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"Many discos, many floors, so many vaginas."

So little time...

6:39 PM  
Blogger ThomP said...

Lets analize this eh? Lets give the guy a chance. He didn't start the fire. No he didn't light it, but he's trying to fight it... He is a good listener, because it is hard to hear anything under that incessant chanting. But instead of hearing the real "what the fuck are you listening to this for?", he hears, "This is Fucking cool, lets get drunk and hold our breath till you get your next pay rise". What a bitch.

1:12 AM  

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