Thursday, June 29, 2006

An Army Of One Model/Actress.

Agency Creative Director: OK. You're going off to fight the bad guys in Iraq. So give us Determined plus Concerned plus Hot.
Model/Actress: Why Hot?
Agency Creative Director: Well hon, what the Army really wants with this ad is to stop every goddamn stupid 18-year-old American boy dead in his reading tracks.
Photographer: Have you ever done swinsuit?
Model/Actress: Could you ask my fake Father to stop snickering?
Fake Father: (huh huh) Do you have a myspace page?


Blogger EVIL DISCUSSOR said...

Hot post.

Fake Father is fucking creepy. And she's totally giving the "Help me, I've been abused by him, like alot, and need to get away, can you help" eyes.

Bad army ad. But great child abuse ad.

10:39 AM  
Blogger Matt Brand said...

Didn't army recently get a new agency?

10:43 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I think I was at that shoot.

10:45 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"You taught her about respect, honor, and courage. She'll need them to fight off sexual harassment and attempted rape."

11:26 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I worked on the Army account years ago. The Army client was among the very best clients I ever worked for. Maybe more than any other client I've known, they were sincerely interested in what my agency had to say and offer. They looked at us as the marketing and creative experts, just as they saw themselves as experts in their own field. There was a mutual respect and an honest give-and-take that I seldom find in our business anymore.

I believe the Army today suffers from what a lot of clients suffer from--full-of-caca agencies comprised of condescending, know-it-all creatives who don't know half of what they think they know, plus account executives who will say and do anything to hold onto accounts in lieu of the real possibility of being fired by a senior management whose only interest is placating the Martin Sorrells and other corporate warlords who control today's agency conglomerates.

Whomever sold the Army that "Army Of One" idea should be sent to Guantanamo and shot (at least while Gitmo is still in operation). The Army deserves better than what they've been given. In fact, 3,000 dead Americans in Iraq proves it's more important than ever that the Army be served better.

12:08 PM  
Blogger David said...

My favorite Army ad is the one on TV that ends with "Call us now and get a Free Boonie Hat!"

Like, yeah, death in the MIddle East for a free hat. Sign me up.

12:16 PM  
Blogger David said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

12:24 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I also did some stuff for the Army and, yes, they were very receptive to bold ideas. But it seems that changed. If the agency is crappy, it's their fault for hiring them. Clients get the advertising they deserve.

12:38 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

It's shameful for ad agencies to help the Army lure 18 year-olds into a world of death with false promises via sophisticated, manipulative ad campaigns. (Wanna get into the music biz? You can join the Marine Corps band!)


Lawyers may be a nasty group, but you ad guys have assumed the modern-day, outsourced role of the Goebels propoganda machine. What a bunch of greedy, self-absorbed, short-sighted assholes you are.

I hope you meet in Hell those who died because their killers or they themselves were taken in by your ads.

2:30 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...


I imagine innocents needn't be damned to Hell to haunt those sent there. Not sure there's a Hell at all, actually, but I'm trying to communicate that powerful ad campaigns aimed at supporting a war machine have far-ranging and life-changing implications. 9/11 is probably the best reason NOT to help the Army recruit unknowing teens.

Re: "The Middle East is getting exactly what it deserves."

Are you really suggesting that an entire race and region comprised of hundreds of millions of people should be punished for the murder of 3,000 by a fringe group? Do everyday Iraqis, Iranians and Afghanis deserve to suffer any more than those who died downtown on 9/11? In fact, haven't the policies of our government - and the Armed Forces - in that region over the last six decades contributed greatly to their plight?

I'd like you to tell me how many innocent Middle Eastern lives equals the value of a single American life? Or is EVERY American life priceless?

Also, if you believe for one second that Iraq was invaded because of 9/11, you are indeed drinking deeply from the Kool-Ade bowl.

This is why the world hates Americans!

3:33 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

yeah, makethelogobigger, you're an idiot.
never refer to a specific group of people by the geographic region in which they live. doing so is often referred to as a "gross and uneducated generalization." i'm assuming you've never read an atlas/glanced at a globe/actually paid attention to the world outside the USA, so it's okay that you've made this mistake. but just watch it next time, because you might come across as "ignorant," "ethnocentric" and most likely also a "total ass." just looking out for ya, buddy.

5:34 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

We aren't in Iraq because of our military. We are in Iraq because of our politicians in Washington. And our politicians in Washington are there because we the people sent them to D.C.

If anyone is to blame for our presence in Iraq (or gets the credit for it, depending on how you look at the situation), it's you and me and every American. The U.S. Army serves at the will of the President, who serves at the will of the people.

To blame the Army for doing what it is supposed to do--defending and protecting the American people as our elected representatives believe necessary--is the kind of dumb thinking that can only come from morons and the many unenlightened people who populate the advertising industry.

5:51 PM  
Blogger copyranter said...

anons, you make good points, most of which I agree with. but please, easy on the personal attacks on other commenters. sorry I ignited a political discussion. this stupid site certainly ain't the place for that. my preference in that arena is

booger! fart!
there, that's more like it.

6:30 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

You think all those creatives doing "save the planet" ads are doing it for the sake of humanity? Dream on Anons. All they want is some shiny awards so they can land a better job.

If Al Qaeda needed advertising I'm sure some agencies will be bidding for the account.

Advertising people are whores (and production companies and image banks are whore-whores). A good john (client) for ad guys is someone who's not an idiot, politics aside.

7:28 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

The Army is not a bad product. But that's not to say it's for everyone. Some people can really benefit from what the Army has to offer. Others would do better doing something else. And the Army knows this. They don't want just any recruits. That wouldn't help them do what they are supposed to be doing--protecting and defending the citizens of the United States.

On the other hand, there are some people who chose not to join the Army that I wish had served--people like Dick Cheney, Rush Limbaugh, Bill O'Reilly, Paul Wolfowitz, Karl Rove, Bill Kristol, Richard Perle, Condoleezza Rice. Had they joined the Army and, even better, saw actual combat like, for example, John Kerry and John Murtha, we might not be stuck in Iraq three years after our mission there was supposedly accomplished.

9:11 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I read the first line as "You taught her about respect, honor, and cupcake."

1:40 PM  
Blogger SchizoFishNChimps said...

I doubt that US armed forces advertising is any different in spirit to that of any other nation in the world (at least, where the citizens have a choice of whether to enlist or not).
It's hardly surprising that this post has provoked such comment, bearing in mind the times we now live in.
I'd like to live to see the day when the sons and daughters of the politicians who send their troops overseas are the ones on the posters saying "we've joined up" (but with more imaginative copy).

10:08 AM  

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