Thursday, June 01, 2006

DEAD BULL: Victorious Matador.

Red Bull is holding an "Art Of The Can" contest, wherein us consumers create "art" out of Red Bull cans. First Price is "an unforgettable experience for two at Art Basel" in Miami Beach (that's it? cheap fucks.). The above, post-modern Atlas piece of garbage was featured in the ad I scanned from this week's New Yorker. This pretentious dick used, like, 20 cans to create that heap of junk.

This is my entry, titled: DEAD BULL: Victorious Matador.
One Red Bull Can. Six Exacto Knives. Simple yet Powerful.
I am so going to win this baby.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

After you win, maybe you can afford a car service?

8:54 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Atlas being on both knees sorta defeats the whole purpose of being Atlas.

10:16 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...


11:44 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Should have a bit of Red Bull dribbling down the can from each wound, forming a puddle of 'Red Bull blood' at its feet.

Then again, who wants to clean up that sickly-sweeet, syrupy piss afterwards?

11:54 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Or how about a 3/4 empty stadium?

5:11 PM  
Blogger ohoney said...

Have you punched the sugar-free version of this stuff--it tastes like weird liquid jello from hell.

6:57 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

In a joint statement PETC & NAANCHH (People for the Ethical Treatment of Cans and the National Association for the Advancement of Non-Conformist Hippie Haiku) had this to say:

Fuck you, okay man
Stab a can with an Exacto knife
Fuck you exacto-ly man

In a related story, later the same day two dozen exacto knives were pulled from the corpse of NANCHH spokesman Potsy "Cheech" Webber found in his studio apartment in Greenwich Village. The body was discovered when Webber's hippie roomates called police terrified of the huge porcupine crawling around and moaning on their kitchen floor.

(Damb that was a long way to go for a pitiful joke wasn't it?)

8:21 PM  
Blogger Maulleigh said...

It has all the rage of a young Vincent Gallo. Self-produce it and then complain that no one understands your genius.

8:55 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

First prize is actually a trip to the Art Basel in Switzerland. Not-so-cheap fucks, after all.

12:10 PM  
Blogger White Dade said...

I think you win. Give me a call when you get to town. Nice of them to give you a trip to a place 98% of the people here have never even heard of.

3:33 PM  
Blogger copyranter said...

thanks WD, but as killjoy "fact checker" aotc points out, the trip is to the Art Basel in Switzerland. The prize still blows.

3:55 PM  
Anonymous Bil Wood said...

Actually I am the Pretentious Dick that made the Atlas Sculpture above my name is Bil Wood. The original idea was taken from seeing a version of this at a Museum and it was not 20 cans or something... It was 128 cans total to make this piece.
It is made only of cans and screws no other materials used in it.
The World is made out of cut outs and a self supporting geodesic sphere it is a Bucky Ball form and Atlas has let go of the World and it is resting on its Red Bull Wings.
As for Red Bull being Cheap lol lol Yeah right... For taking some cans and recycling those cans into art for the show. I placed 3rd out of 412 entries and got my art selected to be used in the ad campaign and it was featured in Time , Newsweek , Entertainment Weekly, People and several other National Magazines. I also was on every Bus Stop Poster there for 3 months, On Billboards around Town, and all the local papers in full page ads. I got a 1000 buck Museum Membership to the Art Institute in Chicago for a prize with every privilege you could have at the museum for a year. I also got flown in to the show in 2005 with a friend all expenses paid for 3 days in Boston , 2 opening parties one private with the New England Patriots and they had just won the Super Bowl again , A Public Red Carpet opening and all my food and drinks were covered in the trip. They put us up at one of the best Hotels in Boston, Nine Zero in a 700 buck a night room...
But to me you just sound like a sore loser copy editor pissed off because you could not make something like that yourself and get the same press coverage.
But I actually love to see whiny cry babies that do not know what they are talking about gripe about something like they do.
You made my day,
The Pretentious Dick - Bil Wood

5:28 PM  

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