Monday, June 19, 2006

Murdering Cereal With Marketing.

Our agency was once involved in a pitch for a new "cluster-based"cereal from St Louis-based clusterfuck Ralston-Purina. As R-P Ivy MBAs tossed alpha and beta reports at me faster than I could skim them, I discovered that what a cereal actually tastes like is of zero importance to its marketing campaign. Which brings me to the below question from a recent confidential online survey for Honey Bunches of Oats:
You'll have to use your imagination here. Think of the Cereal as if it were to "come to life" as a person. Consider everything you know about the Cereal, including the product's packaging, marketing and advertising. Would that person be . . . ?
A) Someone I'd really like and have a lot in common with

B) Someone I'd like and have a few things in common with
C) Someone I'd get along with ok, but not have much in common with
D) Someone I wouldn't actually dislike, but would have little in common with
E) Someone I wouldn't really like and would have nothing in common with.
Sorry, but my imagination is currently fully occupied with imagining what kind of person would consider this valuable information.
But, if we were talking about the awesome Count Chocula?

Let's update the race to Hell: Marketing MBAs have now pulled even with Real Estate Agents and Corporate Lawyers.
(thanks to JenG from for the awesome tip!)


Anonymous Anonymous said...

I never ate Frankenberries because I couldn't see him making the same choices that I did after reviewing the cheatsheet my lifestyle coach tatooed on my bicep. Flex for success!

10:56 AM  
Blogger ninaberries said...

if my screenname is any indication (and it is) you know where i stand on spooky cereal. in fact, all cereal. i love cereal. i love count chocula. i even, in a sort of i-hate-jocks-but-respect-their-capacity-for-steriods kind of way, like honey bunches of oats (with almonds). but i do not love that online survey. i can't even look at it without wanting to punch an mba in the face. but it brings up an interesting question. who's worse: pr robots or marketing hacks?

12:41 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I've been asked that question at so many focus groups, and I've always wondered what they could possibly do with that answer.

"I prefer cereal that represents a complete and utter bastard, so that it will motivate me to leave my house in disgust and get on with my day."

12:14 PM  
Blogger Unknown said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

11:14 PM  
Blogger Unknown said...

Hmmm, a cereal killer.

11:21 PM  

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