Friday, July 28, 2006

Playing with God's balls.

(the inscription, Psalm 31:4, reads: "Free me from the trap that is set for me, for you are my refuge.")
Isn't a round of Golf heaven? Well, now you can skip church and play on Sunday without the crushing Catholic guilt. Tee it high, and let it fly Lord-ward with Gospel Golf Balls (link. click on gospel golf in menu.) After sinking that 20-footer for quadruple bogey, you can pound your chest and point to the clouds with real love. And if you happen to slice one of God's balls into the woods and lose it, it's O-K. You'll be helping to spread the Word.(found in Newsweek)

Irrefutable Evidence that GOLF Is Not A Sport.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

So Jesus and Moses are playing golf...stop me if you've heard this one before...

I like the last part, CR. It reminds me of all those athletes who pause and dramatically point to the sky after every touchdown or strikeout or homer, but somehow forget to do so after they throw an interception, or pop out, or give up a grand slam...fucking hypocrites.

10:09 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Actually though, at the end of future pitches, I might start chest thumping and point to the ceiling.

10:29 AM  
Blogger bustergonads said...

its a slow day, but this post reminds me when i was on the golf course with jesus, moses and an old man...

Moses pulled up to the tee and drove a long one. The ball landed in the
fairway, but rolled directly toward a water hazard. Quickly Moses raised
his club,the water parted and it rolled to the other side, safe and sound.

Next, Jesus strolled up to the tee and hit a nice long one directly toward
the same water hazard. It landed right in the centre of the pond and kind
of hovered over the water. Jesus casually walked out on the pond and
chipped the ball onto the green.

The old guy got up and whacked the ball. It went straight towards the pond, but, miracuously, a bullfrog jumped up and snatched the ball into his mouth. Just then, an eagle swooped down and grabbed the frog and flew away. As they passed over the green, the frog squealed with fright and dropped the ball, which bounced right into the cup for a hole in one.

Moses turned to Jesus and said, "I hate playing with your Dad."

3:05 PM  

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