Monday, September 18, 2006

What's on your headstone, Tommy?

Four-Fifths? How drunk were you when you wrote that Dewarism, Dewar? At the website, where Dewarism is described as "A social. political, and economic doctrine based on the writing of Tommy Dewar," you can read all 22 of the Scotsman's chestnuts. I got one question: why are all the hard liquor sellers trying to engage me in such heady discourse (see below)? After consuming their mind-numbing hootch, the only conversation I'm interested in is the one that directs the cabbie on how to get my throbbing head home so's I can pass out.

1. The drunken conversation is waiting.
2. An Unsigned Letter from a Distillery in Holland.
3. Worst. Anthropomorphism. EVER.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Suddenly I felt stupid, suddenly I have an urge to drink.

oh an this-->ozfsifoc
was the srangest & hardest letter combination the Blogger's 'Word Verification' came up with so far.

4:06 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey Tommy, I drink your hootch not to think!

6:25 PM  
Blogger Frank said...

The poor man's been dead for 76 years; why resurrect his pithy sayings now? Poor man was probably drunk as a skunk at the time, anyway. And, BTW, just how do they know he said these things? Are they *gasp* just making them up or did he write a Little Red Book for the whiskey plant or something?

9:19 PM  
Blogger ninaberries said...

the thing is, it's just such an inelegant line. the concept is bad, given, but why make it worse using the clunky word "expended?" why not spent? why not use 4/5 in stead of writing out the awkward four-fifths? why not 4/5 of the world's purjury is written on tombstones. or something like that. oh. i know. because "tommy dewar" was a drunk and drunks are long-winded, self-indulgent chatty cathy's. goddamn i need a fucking drink.

2:44 AM  

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