Wednesday, December 13, 2006

"The other six days, our lives are so empty..."

JDaters Avi & Alexandra expressing their love of the Sunday New York Times in a JDate ad in last Sunday's New York Times. Sitting on a table in front of the couple is a clipping of the glowing write-up of their engagement from a past Sunday New York Times. They are to be married on a Saturday next June. They will give the next day's (Sunday) New York Times as a wedding favor. The following Sunday's New York Times will feature a glowing write-up of their wedding, which they will read together. In bed. They will receive a complimentary copy of the Sunday New York Times for as long as they stay happily married. They will read each subsequent copy of the Sunday New York Times in bed together, doling out sections to each other in perfect JDater synchronicity.
previously in online dating ads:
1. bronskied by DD-cup sandwich.
2. so feel free to wear your tightest short shorts, Ladies.
4. On online dating advertising.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Or as my girlfriend calls the Times' wedding announcements: the women's sports pages.

9:42 AM  
Blogger Matt Brand said...

I wonder which section (or rather SEXion) gets them most in the mood - Real Estate? Job Market?

10:01 AM  
Blogger Maulleigh said...

My ex and I bonded over our love of the Asian escort ads in the back of the Voice. The voice now lets us get the Voice for free.

10:29 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

More likely they bonded over their marriage getting them:

Avi - green card

Alexandra - a really good diamond

10:33 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

We're so superior.

11:45 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Is it possible for two people to be so inherently boring and devoid of anything remotely interesting that they should resort to Sunday Times of all things, to find something in common and that thin thread actually binds them together and they decide to spend every waking second of their lives together for that purpose and even agree to pose for an ad that testifies their shallowness?

12:32 PM  
Blogger copyranter said...

well ranted, Punk.

and maulleigh, snicker.

12:39 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Oh, I just threw up in my mouth a little. Then all the way. I'm doing that a lot lately.

1:20 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

i'm thankful i don't know any people who look/act like this.

6:03 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'd fuck her. On the floor, the Times spread out beneath her, just like house-breaking a puppy.

It'd leave week-long ink stains on her knees.

10:36 PM  
Blogger copyranter said...

thank you, favorite anon.

8:31 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

In a kinky moment anon may have to manhandle The NY Post beneath her. That would be a JDate first. The Post! What would her mother say?

10:22 AM  
Blogger ronbo said...

I keep trying to imagine a planet on which the Sunday Times is an aphrodisiac. No luck. It's still the anti-Viagra.

lisa b: I'm with you half way. His look def says "Thanks for the green card, Baby" but hers says "Baby...."

11:09 AM  

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