Thursday, September 27, 2007

The closest I've ever come to firebombing a store.

I love Halloween. It's your one chance to be a total Dickwad or walking bOOb, unless of course you're already one the other 364 days of the year. That said, I do not love Christmas. To call me a Grinch doesn't even come close to describing how much I despise December 25th. This wonderful photoshopped pic at least gets you in the neighborhood of my hatred. It's an evil, evil day. Here's proof.
I hadn't walked by the old Tower Records location on lower Broadway in quite a while, until this morning at 7:35 am.
It's September Fucking 27th, Toys-R-MotherFucking-Us. Yesterday, it was near 90 degrees. You're lucky I didn't find a stray Molotov cocktail in the streets, otherwise, I swear, I would've, at least, maybe, considered raising the temperature inside your new store to, oh, about 1500 degrees Celsius.
(answer to the question "What is the temperature of fire?" found here!)


Blogger Rococo Cocoa is Joe said...

did you notice that that R looks like a butt and legs with a snowflake placement a blogger only dreams of?

Now open!

10:10 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Yeah, the local not-Wal-Mart discount chain mega-retailer in my neck of the woods had a bunch of holiday shit up already when I was in there the other day. It was unbelievable.

Rococo, based on your suggestion - which I agree with - that would mean Jeffy's getting a little "fisty" with the R. Not sure that's what the children need to be seeing. Won't anyone think of the children?

12:21 PM  
Blogger Unknown said...

@Rococo. Combine that with the idea that the only person who has a butt that size and red pants is Santa and you've got some child-traumatizing imagery (and won't somebody please think about the children?).

The "Now Open" sign just adds a little frosting to the cake.

1:09 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Goatse for kids?

4:39 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Since we’ve sunk so low, maybe they’ll do a limited edition SVU tie-in with Geoffrey and a “Show us where he touched you” giraffe.

You know, for the children.

10:32 PM  

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