Friday, December 07, 2007

BANK PEN WARS! Chase vs. Commerce.

(click images for closer look)
The bank lobby pen—long a symbolic anger flash point of bad bank service. First up (L), a Chase branch on lower Broadway. Keep that cliché alive, baby! The unfriendly, dirty, chipped fake wood screams 'We're Chase, BITCH, we don't have to try! Did the ugly, germy black pen work? What do you think? Now take a look (R) at the lobby of this lower Broadway branch of Commerce Bank. Sure, it's maybe a little too glitzy, BUT...look to the right. It's a shiny silver bucket. Of pens. A fucking CHAMPAGNE bucket full of BUBBLY NEW BLUE INK PENS! Take one! Take TEN! It doesn't matter. Commerce keeps that baby FULL all the time. Worse for the environment? WHO GIVE A SHIT? I ALWAYS have a working pen. ALWAYS. (photos by the archeress.)
(Disclosure: neither of these banks is mine; I transact with B of A, the opportunistic stock photo-using bank.)


Anonymous Anonymous said...

i love how the chase pen is all limp while the commerce ones are nice and erect, pristine, ready to go. it's no contest.

8:56 AM  
Blogger RFB said...

Excellent. Customer service is found in the little things.

Chase looks like the DMV, and don't steal our crappy pen! Commerce is an inviting casino with freebies. They water down the drinks though.

11:21 AM  
Blogger Chris said...

I wonder how long before Commerce has to discontinue to free pen giveaway or declare bankruptcy.

12:32 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Chris, Commerce has been bought out by TD Banknorth. The merger goes through in March. I'm closing out my account as I no longer live in NY/NJ/PA and pretty soon I will no longer be living in America. I will miss them, however. They were AWESOME.

12:37 PM  
Blogger llcooljessie said...

I've been a Commerce account holder for a long time. So long, that my account number has only seven digits. Since the beginning of the "free pen giveaway," I've never taken one with me. But I do appreciate the use of the pen when I'm in the branch. I'm a bit concerned about the takeover. If they start charging fees or shut down the penny arcade, I may need to start hoarding my savings inside my mattress.

2:26 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

“Chase looks like the DMV,”

WAY too colorful a desk for DMV.

2:30 PM  
Blogger copyranter said...

jessie, I once took a huge Tupperware container filled with all my dimes & nickels to one of their penny arcades; $125+ later, and it was one of the happiest days of my life...which is pretty pathetic I know...but FUCK ALL OF YOUZ!

2:43 PM  
Blogger johnnie utah said...

the free pens is one of the reasons i switched to commerce. the other is the penny arcade. in general, it's just a less offensive, slightly more cheerful and efficient banking experience. also: open 7 days.

5:24 PM  
Blogger Nic Barajas said...

"Chase looks like the DMV,"

What DMV do you go to that lets you use a pen for free? They're 25¢ from the vending machine where I'm from (NY).

5:58 AM  
Blogger Carol Ott said...

I bank with Wachovia and my branch has no pens. Sure, the spiral phone-cord thingy is there...bolted to the desk, with NO PEN ATTACHED. And every freakin time I go to make a deposit, sure enough...I reach for the stupid spiral thingy, only to find NO PEN AT THE END OF IT.

< /rant >

I feel better now, thank you.

6:00 PM  
Blogger Iagos said...

Penny arcade!?!? What the hell I don't have that at any of the banks here. I could get a gun if I get a CD but that's no penny arcade.
I stay far far away from those vile Ebola, Hep-C petri dishes on a string. Always have a pen with you, always.
My DMV is decorated in a delightful cheery gray Steelcase leitmotif. Undoubtedly from some eastern bloc going out of business clearance sale.

12:23 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I find your blog rather helpful, since it has something to do with the Chase. On the I found plenty of complaints in the address of the bank and now I doubt whether I should deal with it. The clients are not satisfied. This means the services and conditions are far from being perfect. The financial institutions are all about making profits of their own and they do not care about the customers.

11:20 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"What DMV do you go to that lets you use a pen for free? They're 25¢ from the vending machine where I'm from (NY)."

Nicolas my son.. You have to stop being cheap! Or.. Next time some big company tells you its .25c for a pen you tell them to just put it on your tab!

-Your friend David

2:44 PM  
Anonymous College Term Papers said...

I guess sometimes truth is stranger than fiction!

1:49 AM  

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