"Hello Satan? The heat's too high in my apartment."
(click image)If there is a Hell, every single NYC real estate professional has a cramped room without a view waiting for him/her; particularly, the creators of this lovely sentiment for The Link tower (dig that crappy trip-hop groove on the site) in Hell's Kitchen. Way to reel me in, assholes! 95% of New Yorkers can't afford to move out of their hellish neighborhoods and into your eyesore—or anywhere else, for that matter. Thanks for the reminder! (nice logo, too. somebody's cousin design that?)
previously:
1. Yes I am. Wearing my tux of course.
2. Billions & Billions Served (eviction notices).
3. The Unparalleled Hyperbole of NYC Real Estate Advertising.
4. "Oh my! Look at the size of him! You'll be needing at least a triplex darling..."
5. Free Jade Jagger Real Doll™ With Every Condo.
6. The "GPH" Killer Strikes Again.
posted by copyranter @ 8:30 AM
9 Comments:
ah...hahaha. i missed you.
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Seriously. I know you Manhattanites are a bunch of rich people who pay premium price to live like poor people, but won't the time come when you say "enough is enough"? Can they keep hiking up the rent of your roach-infected 5-floor-walkup slum studio and you suck up to it because you have a 24-hour bodega on the corner? Don't you realize that with the ransom brokers ask you to move into one of those shitholes you can give the down payment of a condo in another large metro area? New Yorkers are idiots.
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That font they used for "the link/luxury condos/hell's kitchen" doesn't fit AT ALL. Why use a scrawly, graffiti sort of font when you're named "The Link" and your stupid-ass logo is a bunch of connected boxes? Something more angular, more "linky" would be better. Just another mark against this ad.
People r dum - who would pay $2,200 to live in Hell's Kitchen, when the only premium is easy access to hookers bussed in from Weehawken?
They're right, though, it is hell - ugly ass tenaments, pimps going 200 mph down the West Side, and rents that could get you a governer's mansion in any other city.
I just rented a 2 bedroom with a roommate in Hell's Kitchen (40's btwn 9th and 10th) for $2200 ($1100 each). Its in an old tenement building, but very well maintained. Apartment is big (by Manhattan standards) and completely remodelled down to the wood floors. A similar apartment rented a few blocks away at "The Link" would probably be around $4500 a month. Now that's ridiculous.
anon, my manhattan apt. is under $1000/month (a lovely 1BR). it's clean, pre-war and has a lot of charm. anon, you're clearly bitter because you live in some crap suburb and don't have any friends in nyc who will tolerate your misery long enough to invite you to come for a visit.
in nyc, unlesss u have a ton of money , you're basically paying for location (though sadly this is changing since every place is getting expensive). its not that people are dumb. people want to live here. they dont want to be stuck in some shitty city (like boston,D.C., detroit, etc. ) or in the crappy suburbs in some condo. who the fuck wants an ugly condo anyway?
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