Equine's Posterior® Award, April 2007.
"... we don't want to be that big company that's corporate and slick," said Michelle Gass, Starbucks' senior VP of global products. "We don't. We still think about ourselves as a small entrepreneurial company."
Michelle, Shut The Fuck Up.
That quote is from a Business Week article (link) about CEO Howard Schultz's mission to triple the number Starbuck's stores (to over 40,000) by 2012.
Congrats, Gass. The chocolate horse's ass is all yours. You can heat it up and melt it to make yourself and those in the inner circle of your huge staff Grande Caffe Mochas.
previous Equine's Posterior® winners:
1. Andrew Keller, CP+B.
2. Bob Garfield.
3. TBWA/Chiat Day creative dept.
4. New York Times' David Carr.
5. Michael Goldberg, CMO, Zimmerman Group.
6. David Roman, VP, hp.
posted by copyranter @ 3:00 PM
8 Comments:
Leaver her alone. She's a change agent.
New campaign:
"At Starbuck's, you're not just a person standing in a line full of idiots, you're a person in a line full of idiots willing to pay WAY TOO MUCH for cup of coffee. Bwaaaaaaa!"
New slogan: SUBMIT, BITCHES!
Just think of us as
your-little-40,000-mom-and-pop-store-neighbor,
ya heah?
And, while you’re standing in line, you can mellow out to the sounds of coffee machines drowning out Wings hits.
Jet,,,woo-ooo-ooo-ooo-ooo-ooo
Jet! Woo-ooo-ooo-ooo-ooo-ooo
I'm sorry...or did you mean:
Sister Susie,,,,doo-doo-doo-doo
Brother John,,,doo-doo-doo-doo
thank you yet again copyranter for calling it like it is. this just made my morning.
You can't fault guys like Schultz, Gates, Bezos or Branson for using that line.
But this corporate cunt? It's like a new Yankee free agent signing saying, "I want to help them build something here."
She deserves to be burned in the face with a cup of her own overpriced, shitty coffee, then beaten with biscottis and forced to listen to the Godawful music that Starbucks shills (Antigone Rising!!???? What the fuck???)
Some things I can't stand: Know it alls, know nothings, dumb people, people who think they're smart, snobs, bores, boors, nationalistic idiots, followers, leaders, trendy people, faddish people, fads, racists, sexists, haters, whiners, cacklers, attention grabbers, slobs, narcissists, bullies, yakkity yakkers, almost everyone in government, old car rallies/classic car rallies, jacked up trucksk with huge wheels, most men between 18-35, prissy women, silly women, athletes, any hypester regardless of genre, animal shows where they kill and eat eachother while people watch for entertainment, people who think wild animals can be tamed, people who mistake bravery for stupidity, warmongers, military, smokes, drinkers, all celebrities. And maybe you. That remains to be seen. Right now, you made me laugh. But you probably could care less and probably don't like me.
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