Activating Destiny. Activating (?) Destiny? Let's walk this through. What are you, Equinox? Well, despite your inflated membership fees, you're simply a smelly room filled with benches, weights, and machines. YOU'RE A FUCKING GYM. What you're not: an ancient, magical mystical elvish chamber where mortal men come by horse and foot to polish their auras and discover their dormant—but predetermined—purposes.
(If you are the copywriter of this piece of copy, please contact me ASAP, so's that I can send you your well-earned chocolate Equine's Posterior™ award.)
previously in stupid headlines:
1. No, you're a bad ad trapped in a phone kiosk.
2. Naked Chicken Strips.
3. O' Stupid Billboard, O' Stupid Billboard.
4. Great Minds Think Alike.