Increase your carbon cockprint.
Green. Green. Green. Green products are everywhere! Which is ironic, because it's too fucking late! We've already delivered the death blow to our beautiful planet. But! Painfully contrively- (not a word. should be.) named men's underwear manufacturer 2(x)ist, already makers of soy smallclothes, soldiers on with their new bamboo skivvies "infused with carbon." 22 bucks a pair.
Next year, the company will be introducing three more green products: ragweed briefs infused with muck; off-white boxers made from a slurry of human spit and pigeon shit; and undershirts made from undershirts taken off dead men.
previously in bullshit products:
1. enviga. Worse Than Confusing.
2. The $14,615 exerciser.
3. Coming soon: the Glute Ottoman.
4. Super Duper Double Extra Strength Ziploc.
5. eau de ASS.
6. M&Ms "for business."