enviga. Named after the Greek God of Hooey. Joint marketers Coca-Cola and Nestlé are already facing their first lawsuit from the Center for Science in the Public Interest. Even Coke's own guarded claim—that you have to drink 3 FUCKING CANS just to burn 60-100 MEASLY CALORIES—is more than likely Bullshit. The crap is not yet available nationwide, but here in Manhattan, it seems like every subway station is plastered with these posters (photo taken at the Broadway/Lafayette stop.). Drink up, early adopters.
previously in stupid new-age beverages:
1. Anthropomorphism to the power of Retarded.
2. Perrier. Shittier.
3. DEAD BULL: Victorious Matador.
4. 50's packin'. Nutrients.