Edge. Dull.

(click ads to read headlines)
X-Games 13 starts next week. Asstastic!!! And Edge is an official sponsor—because, they're edgy, dudes. And, I guess, to mimic the stereotypical lazy persona of sk8ter boyz, the ad peeps, like, laid down some Xtremely languid language (almost as languid as this) that lamely ties Edge products to the action by the loosest of thread-age. "Cooling conditioners as invigorating as shredding pipe?" Welcome to the Zzzz Games, bro. Why don't you, like, go sponsor Senior Golf, Granddad? (note the expert product-holding technique of the models)
(ads appeared as consecutive pages in the latest ESPN magazine)
previously in specious sports marketing:
1. Reebok running shoes help prevent puking.
2. Johnnie Walker. Official sports drink of the New York Yankees.
3. Head & Shoulders draws dandruff-like pass play in man's hair.
4. Urnie Banks (snicker)?
5. New York Knicks: Experience It. "It" being Misery.