Friday, March 07, 2008

Tree jewelry? Yes, tree jewelry.


(click ad/image for closer looks)
I thought the rolling grass thing was bad. But this is inanity, defined. The Website landing page reads:
"When was the last time your favorite tree demanded anything from you? Attention? Conversation? Compliments? Surprise that oak, that maple, that honey locust. Drape a gleaming stainless steel necklace around your precious..."
So, branch out. Visit the site and pick out a nice necklace or choker for your favorite woody plant. You'll make that treehugger neighbor of yours green with jealously. But, what if your tree is a man? (thanks to "zip" for the tip) previously in it's fucking Friday: It's Friday—why not masturbate? It's Friday, Sex Machine Friday! It's Friday—floating Michael Bolton head. It's Friday—the Horshack Rorschach.

6 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

this is what's wrong with white people. this and our self-loathing.

11:50 AM  
Anonymous Daddy-O said...

And to think it used to be a crime to give a tree a pearl necklace.

12:00 PM  
Blogger Jessie said...

This seems like a hoax, except: this individual seems to have legitimately made tree jewelry and has hung it on trees. I don't see why they wouldn't hang crap on your trees if you paid them.

And I guess that's all that separates a cute hoax from a sad new trend.

12:21 PM  
Blogger Tess said...

This seemed so bizarre that I was tempted to call the number on the site. I made do with reverse look up and damn, I think it's legit. The phone number is registered under the same last name in the email address. I've been at my hated job longer than you, CR, and thus find all sorts of inane ways to pass the time.

This is awesome though, now when I go home I can contemplate which tree in my yard would look best in which necklace. Who am I kidding, I'm going to contemplate nothing more than getting banged good and hard by that dick Victor.

2:02 PM  
Blogger Jayhawker said...

That one on the right reminds me of a codpiece. For a tree.

1:40 AM  
Blogger Ross said...

I think the house I'm renting may actually have tree jewelry on two trees in the front yard. If I remember I'll try to get photos. The people that own this place seem a little...strange

1:11 AM  

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