Friday, March 31, 2006

The Human Train Wreck.

One of my readers who keeps reading even though I suck wrote a 266-word essay (it's a comment from my March 22nd post) on why I suck and why he/she keeps reading. This is the comment, slightly edited:

There is one possibility you seem to be overlooking -- namely, that some of us read Copyranter's blog precisely because "it sucks."
Just as we are compelled by morbid curiosity to slow down and stare at a horrific accident, so too are we irresistibly drawn to the witless ramblings of this train wreck of a human being.
In terms of someone baring their twisted, twitching psyches for all the world to see, it's on a par with watching the likes of Jerry Lewis or Liza Minnelli self-destruct on "Larry King Live."
Assuming the smug, assholier-than-thou attitude favored by any hipster wanna-bes with a blog, our esteemed host takes cheap shots at the easiest of targets. A scathing critique of another lame diamond ad or another insipid airline tagline? How daring!
But for all the hate-filled invective he spews, the only one he succeeds in humiliating is himself.
It's fitting how he professes to hate advertising -- because it's self-important, self-hating poseurs like him who exemplify everything that's wrong with this business.
For connoisseurs of the tragically deluded, it's a veritable four-course feast.
And yet. . .
Despite my harsh words, I don't hate Copyranter. I just feel sorry for him. He is clearly bitter and miserable. (Hey, I can relate: Advertising can do that to a person.)
Deep down -- or maybe not so deep down -- he's probably not a bad guy.
I know you don't want my pity, CR, but I do wish you well. I hope you find some happiness in this life.

(I like this train wreck because it's one train and no other trains were damaged.)


Blogger Cranky said...


Why do you bother highlighting this stuff. Your last three posts were brilliant. Leave this stuff for the comments, or post it on copyrantersucks if you must.

Why highlight a 266 word rant about why you suck when you can show your brilliance in 25 words or less (the Playboy Radio post)

9:17 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"But for all the hate-filled invective he spews, the only one he succeeds in humiliating is himself."

awww, so sad. how did you humilate yourself again...i might have missed that

10:06 AM  
Blogger Matt Brand said...

dude it's obviously an ex-girlfriend

10:49 AM  
Blogger copyranter said...

funny, I thought it was Donnie Deutsch. I'm kidding!

11:17 AM  
Blogger Spunk said...

Wrong analogy...
"Just as we are compelled by morbid curiosity to slow down and stare at a horrific car accident, so too are we irresistibly drawn to the witless ramblings of this train wreck of a human being."

You come to copyranter by accidents is something that you see on your way, unless you consciously tap into police signals and follow up on every goddamned car accident.

11:46 AM  
Blogger copyranter said...

MTLB: I appreciate the support, but ixnay on the daring say. You really have to admit: I'm not daring.

1:10 PM  
Blogger EVIL DISCUSSOR said...

As much as I like your posts, it's true though that they seem to always be about low-level small space divorce lawyer real estate village voice classified ads and the like. Why not take aim at some bigger brand stuff? Is that a risky career move? Or just the niche you're cultivating?

1:33 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I don't think Copyranter is bitter and miserable. He's just an act.

It feels good to him the attention he's getting from his little clog.

He is silly but entertaining. Let the poor thing be.

1:58 PM  
Blogger copyranter said...

anon. shhhhhh....

2:01 PM  
Blogger J.R.Knight said...

sucking is the new not sucking.

BTW: anon, way to pull the curtain back. Pay no attention to the sincere optimist behind the curtain.

2:16 PM  
Blogger David said...

It all makes sense now: The anonymous hater is none other than... Chuck Klosterman. Writing from a Starbucks.

In Hoboken.

Wearing Capri pants.

And a Yankees Hat.

Listening to Coldplay.

2:27 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Part of CR's appeal is his awareness of his existence. He seemingly realizes his work is meaningless, with the shelf life of 2% milk, and that he's completely pissing away the best years of his life.

But, like most of us, he has neither the balls, drive or funds to take genuine risks in life. (On second thought, funds pretty much offset risk.)

Instead, CR shows up at work a little early, drinks his coffee, adds his daily post to the blog and then surrenders his every waking hour to the corporate lepresy that is inexorably consuming his life before his own eyes.

Tomorrow? Wash, rinse, repeat.

That's why he sucks.

But we all relate.

2:53 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

evil: No kink in the neck - I managed to swallow all four inches. The rest, sadly, is true.

You forgot to mention the time I was beat up by a girl during lunch break and cried all the way to the principal's office. High school was brutal.

12:24 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

First of all, I read this blog and love every word. Secondly, as someone in portfolio school trying desperately to be a copywriter, people don't seem to realize that those who have this job have to be this way. Or rather, they should.

I don't think I know a single un-bitter copywriter out there. And if they are, they're total shit at what they do. So keep on keepin' on, or some other lame maxim.

The advertising world is ridiculous. It's underhanded and angering. However, it also gives bitter/witty people who write the damn ads a forum to ridicule the bigguns who pay our checks in a, you know, slightly off-the-radar fashion that Mr. Moneybags would probably never catch.

To all those who aren't a part of the ad world and think Copyranter here is being dumb, suck it up. This is how we are, and we aren't changing (or even being too much affected) by people who write little comments over the internet and expect us to feel bad. We already feel bad, on the inside. But have no pity (we sure don't). Just ready the copy and laugh. Or cry. Because at the end of the day, everyone else is still an asshole.

4:30 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said... dear, poor girl.

If you're in portfolio school, you haven't the slightest notion of how underhanded and angering the advertising world will truly be (let's leave the discussion of back-biting, creative department politics for later). And, yet? Here we writers are. Because bitterness tastes better than punching numbers. And, as someone once wrote (I believe it was Tom McElligott), because misery loves company.

By the way, you know all the anti-depressant spots on TV? Pharma clients don't pay for those, but instead barter pills through the 4As. Make sure to sign up for that benefit when you land your first gig (try Wellbutrin XL - it helps cut back on the late-night, "I-hate-writing-f#*%!'-taglines" smoking).


2:07 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

It's kind of weird that someone feels bad for you based on an advertising blog, what with all the blogs about molested bulemic cutters or whatever.

Talk about people who suck!

2:31 PM  

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