Friday, March 24, 2006

Taglines are DUMB, #2.

Work Hard. Fly Right.

This is my knee-jerk expletive EVERY time I hear this fucking awful tagline. NO, you work hard, and you fly right you flying fuckfaces. I will work any damn well way I fucking please. And—correct me if I'm wrong here Contifuckingnental—I believe it is in fact YOU who is flying the fucking plane, and therefore it is YOU who should fucking fly "right" you preachy fucks. Now, give me my fucking Jack Daniels and hold the fucking ice, fem/manbot.
(previously: Taglines are DUMB, #1)


Anonymous Anonymous said...

how consumerist managed to write a full post out of this rant amazes me.

continental does, indeed, suck balls. it's my least favorite airline after Delta's Song. everyone's a little too chipper on Song. It makes me want to punch someone.

11:32 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

There's nothing 'Right' about visiting Newark for ANY reason -- even catching a fucking plane.

Continental couldn't even get the airport 'Right.'

Why can a cheap-o like Jet Blue take over JFK, while Continental chooses EWR? Fucking morons.

Fuck it... I'm walking instead.

12:24 PM  
Blogger David said...

Isn't "Fuck You!" your basic knee jerk response to... Everything?

(.. waiting for it...)

12:59 PM  
Blogger copyranter said...

(sigh) FUCK YOU, david!

1:05 PM  
Blogger Weave said...

We'll piss you off.

2:28 PM  
Blogger White Dade said...

Continental is the Braniff of the new millenium. There is nothign right about flying that airline.

3:48 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

if there's nothing right with flying Continental, you might as well stay the fuck home. fuckin bloggers all you do is bitch and moan about dumb shit! ;D

4:22 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...


you're on a site called "copyranter", what the hell do you expect? You fuckin' weiner.

5:25 PM  
Blogger Tara's World said...

Bravo! Thank god I am not the only person to think this. (clapping wildly)

7:47 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey, don't knock Newark! Newark gave us two great things--Ballantine Beer and Philip Roth.

9:02 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...


Here's an idea, Opie: Move to Newark, get a job at the Cinnabon in the Continental terminal, and never leave town for the rest of your life. You can re-read Roth's books on your break.

"Hey, don't knock Newark..." Go fuck yourself, asshole.

3:11 PM  
Blogger copyranter said...

anon, your scenario was deliciously biting. but c'mon; the "go fuck yourself, asshole" actually takes away from it.

7:40 AM  
Blogger ElMachino said...

I just got back from a trip which involved three airlines, Northwest, Delta, Sun Country. Maybe I got lucky, but every leg of the trip was fine. Can't recall a single tagline. But Sun Country hands out cheeseburgers.

There's a tagline in there somewhere. Or at least a point of difference.

8:13 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"Sun Country: we may crash, but you get cheeseburgers.“

12:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Someone buy Anonymous II a Ballantine. Sounds like he could use one to dampen his bile.

And tell him that Sarah Vaughn is from Newark. Also Newark's Branch Brook Park (designed by Frederick Law Olmstead) was the first county park in the U.S. designed for public use.

2:24 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I piss on Sarah Vaughn's grave which, with any luck, is located in Branch Brook Park.

And a note to Copyranter: I don't give two shits what you think about my posts. You wanna critique something? Go right for the NYT Book Review. Otherwise STAY THE FUCK OUTTA MY FACE DOUCHE BAG!

11:59 PM  
Blogger copyranter said...

Again, I gotta say, the first part of the above comment is wonderful and the second part is a tad over the top. Juuuust sayin'.

5:02 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Using the F word to complain and rant is lazy.
Youre blog has a good premise, too bad your bon mots are lacking any flavor.

5:50 PM  
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5:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Alas I am a simpleton. While randomly selecting a date of the archive to pass the morning I read this early blog and laughed my head off. Heads peered over cubicle walls and I could not explain how Contifuckingnental pushed me over the edge and made me laugh.

Well done sir!

12:33 PM  
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12:28 AM  

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