Monday, November 13, 2006

Tommy Dewar's words should have been heeded by ad agency.

(click image)
" know where not to return" indeed. I am so SICK of hard liquor makers making my head hurt before I drink their elixirs. Jesus Fucking Christ, the (fake?) man's been dead for 76 fucking years. Old Scotch? Good (theoretically. I actually hate Scotch). Old Ideas? Not Good.

previously in hard liquor:
1. What's on your headstone, Tommy?
2. The drunken conversation is waiting.
3. Worst Anthropomorphism. EVER.
4. An unsigned letter from a distillery in Holland.
5. Got it yet? Take your time.
6. Excuse Me, While I Puke And Die.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

CR! I am in lusty love. Yes, I'm extremely slow, and I've only recently discovered the blog phenomenon. Your blog was truly lust at first read (and the only one I've returned to repeatedly). Don't stop! You're hot. I'm soooo in love...

3:41 PM  
Blogger copyranter said...

starryeyed——First off, I think your comment is fake. Second off, I'm already spoken for.

But, of course, keep reading...

3:47 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I can see why you'd think my post is fake, but it's not. While it may seem like I've had my head up my ass, it's true that I've only recently started reading *some* blogs. I've always thought of them as vehicles for the egotistical, self-absorbed, narcissistic, attention-seeking assholes of the world (sorry for the redundancy). But alas, CR, your blog was a true revelation and a jewel. I smiled during the whole first hour I spent reading it. All my hateful feelings towards this shitty world and city have been validated!! I love you--just accept it. Don't be sooo humble. And btw, your girlfriend is extremely lucky!

4:30 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

***A Fan Is Born***

5:07 PM  
Blogger Brian Thompson said...

Copyranter, August 1, 2005

6:47 PM  
Blogger copyranter said...

wow, a typewriter bt! how sublime!

6:59 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Bringing us back to Dewar's inane campaign, we've unearthed and archived some of their other online "gems" ->

CR's right: Old ideas and lame quotations are never a great idea ;-)

(PS - Our much larger archive of online beer & liquor ads is here for the alcoholically curious ->

12:16 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

At times like this one can see the virtue of anonymity

5:51 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I love liquor marketing. It makes me smile and cringe all at the same time. So, my new favorite.....Bong Vodka. Bottle shaped liked a bong, the name is Bong. It must have taken a marketing guru years to get this one ready for an untapped market. And, it opens the doors to other great products such as a bottle in the shape of a vagina and called "You are soooo getting laid tonight" Vodka. Clever, right?

1:31 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Logo, I think you smelled right.

Also, CR, don't be too sure that your buddy Dewar is fake. I recently got a lengthy lecture at a Johnnie Walker tasting about the original Johnnie and family, so you may owe your pain to a real person (assuming of course that the person who wrote the ad copy does not qualify, and I'm guessing he/she doesn't).

4:15 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

i know this post is old - i just saw it for the first time though. it's so funny, you always seem to trash the campaigns I work on! :)

But just in case you were dying to know, Tommy Dewar is real (but he's dead now), and apparently he was always spouting off about this or that, hence the Dewarisms.

and after looking at all the stuff he's said, i don't think there's a copywriter that could get as random as he did. Here's my favorite:

"Avoid the man who will not stop to see a dogfight; he has lost all interest in life."

uh huh.

4:44 PM  
Blogger copyranter said...

sorry amber. And thanks for the clarification.

7:29 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

no problem, some of them deserve a good trashing!

12:23 PM  

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