Friday, March 23, 2007

Comparing the Pears.

Absolute Pears has the cooler bottle design, the ubiquitous ad campaign—including a slick slithering TV spot—and the trial-inviting copy line "The New Taste Of Temptation." What's Grey Goose's La Poire got going for it? One thing only: it doesn't taste like a combo of cough medicine and snake shit. Seriously, Absolut Pears is fucking awful; a very fake tasting "pear" flavor that completely overpowers the vodka. Very disappointing, considering how delicious Absolut Mandarin is. Grey Goose La Poire, however, is tasty; the essence of Anjou pears added to the vodka creates a nicely subtle flavor. Don't believe me? Two bar professionals recently confirmed my opinion about Absolut Pears: 1. The female bartender with the slight eastern European accent in the Jet Blue terminal at JFK airport. 2. A waitress at a pool hall outside of Tuscon, Arizona. Also, the archeress took one sip and almost ralphed.
previously in vodka:
1. V2. Get Bombed.
3. Excuse Me While I Puke And Die.
4. Let's Get EFFEN Drunk.
related on Gawker: Vodka Wars.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

I bought a bottle of Grey Goose pear vodka the other day from one of the shoplifter guys who sells mech outside Pete's Pub (Boston).

It was quite tasty. Especially for $8.00.

2:25 PM  
Blogger Matt Brand said...

But do they, like pears, loosen up your bowels?

2:58 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Only if you stick one up your ass.

BTW, Slinky, do you mind if I ask what the hell that pic is? It's confounded me for some time.

4:55 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I don't give two fucks about your take on pear-infused vodkas any more than I care about your opinions on microcredit, steady state vs, big bang or Islam as an inherently violent religion.

Are you an ad critic or what?

Stay on topic fuckwad.

Write this down and read it 18 months from now: That "unmatched" pussy is making you soft, bro.

10:03 PM  
Blogger copyranter said...

anon...will agree that this post was lame; however, I will address, time-to-time, pet peeves like the Times hockey coverage.
Also agree that my girlfriend's pussy is unmatched.
However, I DO NOT agree (trust me here) that said pussy is making me "soft."

2:02 PM  
Blogger Erin Bradley said...

Any dude that makes a comment about a guy's girlfriend making him soft is absolut gay. Not even gay. G-H-E-Y. That's how gay.

I do love the Absolut Pear TV ads though and was tempted to try some. Now I know better.

2:38 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I love how people pay big bucks for designer vodka. Unless it's flavored, 99% of vodka is straight grain neutral spirits. It's made from grain (Only two are made from potato's - One from Poland, one from Idaho!) You can't age it in fucking oak casks, 'cos it's stored in stainless steel tanks. It's all filtered through charcoal... It's all made exactly the same way. It all tastes the same, unless it's flavored, or you use it with a mixer. If you don't believe me do a BLIND taste test. Anyone who claims they can tell the difference is either a fucking liar, or in advertising!

6:12 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Erin: Serious romantic interests change people's behavior.

9:09 AM  
Blogger Katie said...

I'm surprised this new flavor didn't come with a handy drink mix guide so I'll know what to order next time I'm out drinking. Pear-tinis?

4:15 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Confucius say: If pussy make you soft, you lose pussy...pronto (is pronto Chinese, tonto?).

10:58 AM  

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