Wednesday, June 20, 2007

Meet the latest 1-800-OK-CABLE shills.

Future86, "Hi Energy Party-Rock Straight Out of NYC!"...a band with "an arsenal of juvenile delinquent fist pumping rock" (jesus)...they sound like "a collision between The Ramones and No Doubt on speed"...or, more accurately, as tipster/link sender Ryan Reid describes their music: "lite-ska by bland crackers" titles include "Give It To Me" and my fav, "I Want It All"—the latest 1-800-OK-CABLE theme song (click here to watch the commercial) that's been sending horrified New Yorkers diving for the remote faster than guitarist Larry (far left in pic) shreds a fret board.
previously in music & advertising:
1. Sanjaya Malakar's ad dopplegänger.
2. India.Arie: pop crap or good shit? Discuss.
3. Lenny Kravitz. ABSOLUT KRAP.
4. Velvet Revolver for John Varvatos.
5. 50's packin'. Nutrients.


Blogger TraderZed said...

I am so sorry that you have to be exposed to this commercial.

3:16 PM  
Blogger Middle Name: Stanley said...

Why are so many press photos for bands so terrible? "Ok, guys. Act mildly retarded for me. Gooood. Great. That's the shot."

4:18 PM  
Blogger copyranter said...

The shot is labeled "jazz hands" on their site.

4:21 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

“Ok, GREAT guys. YEAH. Beautiful. ENERGY. Now, quick, one of you look away. NO, not brooding, smiling, You’re not the fucking Cure. YES. Give it to me. PERFECT.”

4:24 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I hear this commercial every damn day. In fact it's on right now as I type this... luckily it's the shortened version. I know every single line and it gets stuck in my head at the most innapropriate times.

I hate you Future86!!!

4:41 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I have that same Epiphone guitar as that douche. But mine's transparent orange and not yellow.

5:41 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Wow, that was so incredibly lame.

8:04 PM  
Blogger Chris said...

Oh my God. That's a REAL band in that commercial? Damn, they must be hurting for work.

9:08 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I dunno. They look like they're having a pretty good time to me. Maybe the world just isn't ready for the purity of their enthusiasm.

When did we become so jaded?


10:11 AM  
Blogger copyranter said...

I applaud their enthusiasm. Go make your way in the world, Future86. As long as I don't have to listen to their absolutely shitty "rock" music...which I now occasionally am forced to catch a few notes of thanks to this commercial.

10:29 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

That singer chick is kind of hot.

11:01 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...


There’s genuine enthusiasm and then there’s people paid to be enthusiastic. Nothing wrong with the former.

8:56 PM  
Blogger Brutal Youth said...

Holy shit! That way truly awful.
Funny how the ad clearly attempts to target tweens in the hopes that said tweens will bitch to their parents because they "want it all".
Too bad it fails miserable on both accounts.
I am going to make it my personal mission to bring this band down.

1:50 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

my, my how negative all you people are. can't say that i blame you if all you do is sit around and watch television. i like the band, always have and their enthusiasm is genuine. go to one of their shows (they play all the time -something pretty much impossible for a mediocre band to do), and maybe you'll change your mind.

9:20 PM  
Blogger copyranter said...

hey thanks anon John. I see live music every month. Just for a point of reference, the guy on the 7 train that plays "My Country Tis Of Thee" on the fucking harmonica is better than these hacks.

9:37 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

“...(they play all the time -something pretty much impossible for a mediocre band to do)”

Please tell me you’re joking with that statement.

12:02 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

the chick is kinda cute...

why blame the band for the lame commercial? Time Warner could easily afford better cameramen, better songwriters, better music directors, and yet they chose to skimp on those costs to make this horrid commercial with a reasonably okay band...

goes to show how good of a service they probably got...

and yes, you should go see my cable guy's truck...

3:52 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...


its awesome. ol' skook nyc punk always had its fingers in SKA. it seems like a real band. she's hot. the shots are great. it shows the guitarist and the drummer momentarily but the chick is HOT. its like a happy accident. but yes, since its in heavy rotation i do flip the channel because the song is catchy and i hate to have a cable ad song running in my head.

why don't you rant about the insipidness of the GEICO GEKKO? i don't know how that made it to air in the first place. but AFLAC on the other hand is gold. they are like felini meets delafemina.

1:37 PM  

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