Tuesday, December 11, 2007

The men's dress shoe as phallic symbol.

(click ads for closer look)
"made by hand"—by naked female artisans. The English are fine, fine footwear makers. I've had one pair of now-discontinued John Fluevog boots (update: which as a commenter has pointed out, are made in CANADA, not England, as I thought. Well Dr. Martens are well-made. update #2: the majority of Fluevog shoes are actually made in Poland & Portugal.) for about 13 years, and they are still sharp and still going strong.
But these models...such supple uppers...smooth lines...well-built...you STOP staring at those lady parts! These John White shoe ads are wrong wrong wrong! Such gratuitous sex! Shame on you, you randy Brits. These shameful portraits of shamelessness have now been entered into copyranter's Advertising Gratuitous T&A Hall of Shame, hanging next to these French, German and American examples. For SHAME!!! (I gotta say, with the second ad above (R), the frilly thing gets in the way of my consumerist thought process.)
Ads via Chimp Media Monitoring, headed up by a highly entertaining ad chap whose words soothe and seduce me.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Both of those bodies are photoshopped to high heaven. Especially the one on the left. Look at the angle of the hips (if you can call them hips). It's almost like they used a heavier woman's top and a skinny woman's bottom and made a little Bride of Frankenstein foot fetishist.

10:31 AM  
Blogger Andy Jukes said...

Um, Fluevog is from Canada, not England.

12:00 PM  
Blogger Unknown said...

That one on the left is weird. At first I thought it was a dude holding his tool. Now that I see it's a woman I wonder if it's my FOOT I'm supposed to put in the shoe. More like my foot long schlong.

Gratuitous indeed.

12:36 PM  
Blogger Middle Name: Stanley said...

I agree. I thought it was a man with huge moobs.

2:24 PM  
Blogger PetesRhymesLife said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

3:14 PM  
Blogger RFB said...

Can I see that in a black?

3:23 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Docs haven't been made in England for years. Too bad, the new Chinese ones are absolute crap....

6:49 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Puss 'n' boots.

7:23 PM  
Blogger SchizoFishNChimps said...

Thank you. Re - seduction. The best ad men should always be in touch with their feminine side.

3:49 PM  

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