Maybe, Derek (.176 average) just wasn't "Driven" enough.
Or maybe, he drank too much of the Official Sports Drink of the Yankees? Or didn't drink enough Milk. Or maybe his herpes was itching real bad. Who knows—we're all searching for answers as to how, HOW this $200+ million New York Yankee juggernaut could have possibly lost a division series to those cheap-ass, midge-breeding Wahoos and their pathetic $60 million payroll.
Perhaps, not enough Yankee fans wore face paint? Or maybe Joe Torre spent too much time on the Brooklyn Bridge shooting accounting firm ads. Or Jorge Posada (.133 average) peed on his hands too much.
Or maybe, you know, the Yankees starting pitching just plain sucked Roger Clemens's fat ass. Whatever, who cares. They lost. So, hold your finger high and say it loud with me and Doug Stanhope—"FUCK THE YANKEES."
(you have no idea how much I've been cackling on the inside since last night at about 11:45 pm)