The most nonsensically sexual beer ads ever.

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Ads are from 2004, before I started my road to ad blog infamy. I just ran across them in my daily depressing early morning trip around the Internet. That's very interesting that you, Dialogo Publicidad (the Argentinian ad agency), managed to make beer mugs look like lady parts. But, WHAT'S THE FUCKING POINT? Shout it with me, Mad Men: TITS—what can't they sell? ASS—what can't it sell? Related.

Big fake breasted 'Jersey Shore' ad banned because of big fake breasts.

(click ad) Explain your decision, Australian ASB:
"The Board noted that the woman in the advertisement is wearing a bikini and considered that this would be appropriate attire for a  beach setting. However, the Board noted that the focus of the advertisement is on the chest  and torso of the woman and the woman’s breasts are the focus of the advertisement and  comprise the majority of the image in the advertisement. The Board noted that the advertisement appears in bus shelters and has a broad audience which includes children and that in this context noting the size of the advertisement, the unavoidable focus for the viewing audience is the woman’s breasts. The Board considered that this level of nudity is confronting in the context."
Jesus. By the time they got done with that statement, they could have jerked off to the poster. Which they probably did. Via AdNews.
TITS—WHAT CAN'T THEY SELL? They can't sell 'Jersey Shore' Down Under.
Previously: Russian Butt Billboard Banned Because of Russian Butt (nsfw).

TITS SELL CONDOMS.

(click ad, via) "Hypersensitive" condoms. Art directors? READABLE typefaces. Ad agency: Adplanet, Singapore. Tits. What can't they sell? Here's 17 other things they've sold.
TITS.

copranter: what are T*Ts selling today?

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Heineken-owned Aussie beer Foster's. Old ad, year unknown. Tits have of course sold beer lots (example : a beer mug made to look like a tit). But this is a rather unsubtle execution. TITS: WHAT CAN'T THEY SELL? Related: Another Aussie beer brand, Hahn, produced this aural T&A commercial.

Bouncing bOObs sell earplugs.

(via)
"THEY WON'T (wink wink) FALL OUT."
TITS? WHAT CAN'T THEY SELL?
HAVE A NICE WEEKEND.

TITS SELL SMARTPHONE.

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Specifically, 3-D TITS.
Dammit, her TIT keeps disconnecting my calls.
Ad agency: Y&R, Paris.
TITS: WHAT CAN'T THEY SELL?

How's this for an unappealing reason to get screened for cancer?

(click ad, via) In addition to insulting the ugly Olds, can we also get some big titties in the ad? Yes, says the Lima, Peru office of ad agency Y&R. Didn't I read somewhere that jerking off helps prevent prostate cancer? Tits? What can't they sell? Note: this is the same agency and same client that produced this booby heads breast cancer ad. The Inappropriate PSA Humor thread gets longer every day.

Ladies, buy these glasses so men won't stare at your "sweater kittens."

(click ad, via) Those are some ugly glasses, his eyes aren't going to stay there for long. Ad agency: Lindsay, Stone & Briggs. Meanwhile, TITS—what can't they sell?

Unshockingly, Ryanair does big boobs-vertising for Bavarian beer bash.

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No, what is shocking here is that the ad was placed in the classy Guardian, and not the sleazy Mirror or Sun. Desperate times call for breasty measures. Read more about it via London journalist Jon Slattery. Previously, the Irish discount airline got in trouble over a tawdry back to school ad, compared their main competitor to Robert Mugabe, and produced a bikini calendar made up of employees. Repeat after me: TITS—WHAT CAN'T THEY SELL?

SoBe challenges you to not stare at Kate Upton's breasts.

You gotta admire the un-subtlety of this latest instance of Titsvertising via the Pepsi brand of sugared liquids. And you gotta admire the SI swimsuit model for so baldly exploiting her Bread and Butter (may or may not be her nicknames for her Jumblies). If you're that much of a hard-up mook, you can even try the challenge yourself here. I even created a version of the contest: click here and try to keep your eyes on the Google logo. TITS! What can't they sell?

Big Boobs-vertising of the Week.

(click image, via) Translation: "Book for five and you go free." TMF Travel says it's targeting 16-24 year-old Belgian males with those ten guns. Direct hit, I believe. In fact, I'm sure many of these outdoor posters won't be staying up for long.
Ad agency: Duval Guillaume, Antwerp.
I'll say it again: TITS. WHAT CAN'T THEY SELL (some nsfw)?

BREASTS SELL SHOES.

The model/actor/writer calls herself: "Seeker of the truth. Keeper of the faith."
How original, a woman eating fruit. That song blows.
See: TITS! WHAT CAN'T THEY SELL?

Tabasco does Juggs-vertising in the SI swimsuit issue.

(click ad, via adrants) Finally, the much-anticipated (by pathetic mooks) edition of Sports Illustrated is out. And the McIlhenny Company managed to squeeze this ad in between all the sandy cleavage. In the 2009 issue, Arby's did a less subtle BurgerTits ad. I repeat: TITS. WHAT CAN'T THEY SELL?

The most BORING lingerie commercial ever.

I've never hated an ampersand more. This is also the most boring entry ever in the TITS: WHAT CAN'T THEY SELL? archive. Client had to love the production bill, though. Ad agency: Glow, Berlin. Via. Update: Scarlett & RHEET?
Here's six previous lingerie videos, all sexier than this one, some nsfw.

Blatant Sexist BoobsVertising of the Week.

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Well, well: It's our new friends from that unintentionally racist Belgrade casino again. No Serbian-English language barrier here, baby. Now that's a pair of Ladies, amirite boys? My knees are jerking like crazy today. Ad agency: Euro RSCG.
Repeat after me: TITS: WHAT CAN'T THEY SELL?