Friday, December 29, 2006

copyranter looks back/ahead.

This week, many "bloggers" featured "best of" posts. Good for them. Every one of my 2006 posts was pure platinum, so go fuck yourselves douchebags. My resolution for 2007? Write fuck & douchebag twice as often as I did in 2006. Happy Fucking New Year, Douchebags.
(no that's not my hand, though it is quite similar in bone structure.)
previously in Fuck You Fridays:
1. I hate kids.
2. rolling grass thing.
3. The Horshack Rorschach.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

...and a happy New Year to you too!

9:37 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

And a hearty middle finger salute right back at ya, copyruiner!

9:54 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

You know, I've been wondering why I've been saying "douchebag" so much lately. It must have rubbed off. It's my favorite word now. Everyone is a douchebag when you set your mind to it. And "best of 2006" blogs? So beyond pathetic.

12:25 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Mine was less a 'Best of' than a 'Shit that bothered me' one. Hope I still qualify for douchebag status.

What about a CR anon/anonymous 'Best of' response list though?

10) I'd LOVE to fuck the Pope. The imagination runs WILD with the multitude of rituals, symbols and devices.

9) I'd fuck her. On the floor, the Times spread out beneath her, just like house-breaking a puppy. It'd leave week-long ink stains on her knees.

8) I'd fuck him. Fuck him 'til the smell of his sickly sweet Krispy Kreme infused pig musk filled the room. De-li-cious.

7) Juan's vengence is the coke-whore daughter's of suburbia.

6) It makes no sense... who would ever leave a body half-in, half-out of the trunk. It's either in the trunk or out of the trunk. You don't move the bitch in the trunk until it's time to fill the hole.

5) Note the hand tightly gripping the small tree trunk on the right. Whoever that is, he/she's getting a lot more than a rim job.

4) As the anon "I'd fuck her" poster, I must draw the line with Ann (Morton Downey Jr.) Coulter. However, I would chip in a week's pay to watch her get the shit fucked out of her by a couple of illegal Mexicans. .

3) von k; if I'm not wrong, the potato on the right is actually perfoming oral on the potato on the left (note position of talk bubble relative to the potatoes). If true, Mr. Potato is gonna put his love right in the eye of the potato.

2) I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop on this campaign. Forever. But in the meantime, some 50-something senior copywriter is sleeping well in a paid-off house, fucking his wife with a conscience as clean as a mormon baby.

1) As the anon poster who's mission here is to turn everything pornographic and inject a bit of Ron Jeremy everywhere possible, much as he himself does, I feel slightly let down that this particular posting, plainly pornographic and pokingly funny, reserves no room for my usual insightful, poetically penchant prose.

Should this ever be the the case again, I, cursed with a hunger no less deep than that of a rebel gang of teens armed with spray cans and too much free time, will be forced to tag the virtual cement of this blog with details of how I shave the underside of my nut sac.

3:56 PM  
Blogger David said...

Just for that list, MTLB, I'd fuck you.

Happy New Year!

4:19 PM  
Blogger copyranter said...

MTLB, you douchebag, that scared the fuck outta me.

10:20 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I aim to please cr.

David, I waited a day to see if the gayness of that comment would wear off. It hasn’t.

11:07 AM  
Blogger meg L white said...

Douchebag is one of those words for which there is absolutely no substitute when it completely applies. MTLB - you freak me out. Did your Mommy keep you locked in a closet while she worked on her tan or something? Poor BooBoo.

CopyMan - any author whose "I hate" list includes capri pants, Starfucks coffee, breast implants, The Strokes, Coldplay and, ching-ching, DR. PHIL - (I'm drawing a blank on some of the other listees I "loved") should be nominated for the Nobel Prize.

"X", Steve Earle & New Pornographers - way cool.

Thanks for the fun.

1:52 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Happy New Year to one of my favorite cynics.

Wishing you and yours a happy and healthy 2007.

12:53 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Happy fucking New Year you bastard!

11:42 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

there is a god...and he is a copywriter

12:33 PM  

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