Tuesday, March 13, 2007

EXCLUSIVE—Coming Soon! Super Duper Double Extra Strength Ziploc!

copyranter's focus group operative #1 reports in from the field about a new secret product on the way from SC Johnson's Ziploc. The operative took part in a naming session (for reals!) for what looks to be the strongest Ziploc yet!!!
Here's some of the names they ran by him/her for approval—extra stupid ones bolded:
• Ziploc with Ultrafresh • Ziploc with FoodShield • Ziploc with Ultralastic • Ziploc with DuralastZiploc with Duron (Duron, from outer space!) • Ziploc with Fortex (?) • Ziploc with DuraMaxZiploc with Freshvantage • Ziploc with ResilexZiploc with Freshlastic (sounds like a DJ name) • Ziploc with XtraProtectZiploc with Reliashield (for those "heavy" flow days, girls) • Ziploc with Freshguard • Ziploc with Durapreme • Ziploc with DuracareAdd yours in the comments...
previously in stupid marketing:
1. Murdering Cereal with Marketing.
2. Inside the Puffs® testing laboratory.
3. M&Ms "for business"
4. fMRI Imaging vs. Cookie Puss.
5. Cerealism.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Ziploc with Resistaspoil
Ziploc with Smellguard
Ziploc with X-lock
Ziploc with X-Treme Fucknuts

10:46 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm totally going to start a band and name it Freshlastic.

Ultralastic sounds like something used for the waist band of underwear – "Never worry about atmoic wedgies again with Ultralastic!"

10:49 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Ziploc with Sealameal
Ziploc with Dribblebarrier
Ziploc with Ultraglopstop
Ziploc with Leftoversaver
Ziploc with Spoilfoil

11:23 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Ziploc with Cockblock

11:39 AM  
Blogger Payo said...

Ziploc with an actual Loc That Closes
Ziploc with EnduroShield
Ziploc Xtreme!!!
Ziploc with Loczip
Ziploc with Shitscentashield

12:11 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

ziplock where's-my-dinner-bitch.

12:18 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Ziploc with trustick
" with loczip
" with vaultec
" with BearTrap -- cute cartoon bear mascot has his leg stuck in a baggie

1:18 PM  
Blogger Unknown said...

Ziploc with Stankbloc

2:10 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Ziploc with a special cey to open it!

2:17 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Ziploc with Durex -- Total Meat Storage System.

It's a condom-sandwich bag combo!

-- Christian in NYC

3:21 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...





6:02 PM  
Blogger Sports Princess said...

I love the last one - Zipadeedodaloc!

But seriously, why do people need their sammich baggies with some made up, but registered, silly trademark. Why doesn't the Ziplocers simply want to upgrade their product & stamp a "New & Improved" seal in the corner of the box?

7:11 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Ziploc - now with 33% more yellow and 33% more blue for 66% more green.

7:36 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

just read the 12 comments.

7:37 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Just read the comments. Too bad jc's is the only one that's zero percent funny. Who are you jc? My ACD?

11:20 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Ziploc with HermetiCon

Ziploc with EnduraSeal

Ziploc with Seal-O-Strip

Ziploc with Load-n-Lok

Ziploc with The BurnBanish Strip

Ziploc with FaceSaver

Ziploc with Dam-Tite

Ziploc with Stuff-n-Seal

Ziploc with EternaSeal

Ziploc with Goodness-Cage

Ziploc with FreshArrest

Ziploc with Nast-E-Liminator

4:30 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Ziploc. Now Dirty Bomb Proof.

9:48 PM  
Blogger Unknown said...

Ziploc's a Crock
Toots Zipshits
Zipless Foc
Ziploc-ness Monster Strength
Ziploc with Extra Stout Clout
Ziploc Like a Rock
Ziploc n Roll
The Big Zipper

11:09 PM  

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