I'd have to be pretty f*cking fat to lie on a thousand vibrating cell phones.

Ever crammed more chewy hooey [heh] into one headline, Wrigley's?
I agree with my BFF Bob Garfield about what he had to say about the campaign for new high-tech "5" gum (named thusly because it's a gum that thrills all your senses). It's just gum, you fucking morons. This is the stupidest ad I've seen since this one (granted, it's only been three months).
Campaign produced jointly by London & Chicago offices of my other BFF, BBDO.
(scanned from ESPN magazine)
previously in bullshit ad lines:
1. HOMOMETROSEXUALS™ prefer Svedka vodka.
2. ...because eating PBJ does nothing to lessen the anger?
3. Mitchum. So effective you could skip a day.™
4. When life depends on it, use Asbestos.
5. enviga: Less than nothing. Better than anything.
6. Gwynnie Paltrow is African.