Monday, April 24, 2006

Can't spell "anthropomorphism" without "Mohr"

anthropomorphism—the attribution of human characteristics to nonhuman things.
After a bit of thought, I've concluded that this Diet Pepsi campaign is the worst soft drink advertising ever (#1. #2.) Easily. It is a vortex of bad. Brown bubbly piles of ad shit. A can is a human star, and "comedian" Jay Mohron is his/her "agent" (Questionable casting, that. That can's going nowhere.). Jesus, WTF is wrong with you, agency/client people? Are you itching that badly to see the four horsemen of the apocalypse?
(pictured: Mohr's stunt head [really] from 1998's Mafia.)
read what Mohr himself has to say about his shitty sell-out job here.
• previously: Worst. Anthropomorphism. EVER.


Blogger badly drawn boykins said...

Have you read Mohr's columns in Sports Illustrated? Just when you thought you couldn't think any less of him, he shits out the sports writing equivalent of "Brown and Bubbly".

If it weren't for his Walken impressions, I totally would pay someone a couple of grands to kick him in the nuts.

2:00 PM  
Blogger EVIL DISCUSSOR said...

You are so shittastically right on, Ranter.

There has not been enough press about how crappy this Diet Pepsi crap really is.

Clearly written by an overpaid, undertalented, hackity hack who is tenuously holding onto a flagging career and who's only useful skill is his well-honed ability to drive a client's product into the ground by blowing said client's ludicrous multi-million dollar budget on the first worst idea he can think of, fearing, rightfully so, that another may never ever again pop into his head.

If I wrote this stuff I'd stab myself in the temple over and over again with the pencil I used to write it.

After the four month trip to L.A, of course.

4:55 PM  
Blogger David said...

I do, however, enjoy the one where the New England Patriots draft Diet Pepsi machine, and all the fans are yelling "Machine! Machine!" In fact, it's the yelling of "Machine" that redeems the whole commercial. Nothing else about it is actually entertaining.

5:42 PM  
Blogger kristine said...

it's also referred to as personification. which, i find, is much easier to spell.

5:50 PM  
Blogger Rikki said...

Jesus, it's horrible.

I assume all the people singing the worst song i've ever heard are very famous pop singers that i don't care about... and therefore the train of thought was something like 'hmmm i've got 15 famous singers and a can of diet pepsi.... they...could... sing a song?'

I could really go a Diet Coke.

8:47 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

tsk, tsk. terrible stuff.

but look on the bright side: i'm currently getting paid to party in dublin in a nice hotel on behalf a very smart client. concepting up a storm we are!

12:13 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Wow. I'm surprised we haven't had any entertainment industry suicides (actors, managers, and record producers) as a result of this one.

So much money and nary an original thought in the whole mess.

I do wish you hadn't mentioned the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse, though. But now you've done it, I fear. And I'm really not looking forward to seeing Pepsi coopt that particular group at next year's Super Bowl.

12:36 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

What's the big deal? Mohr probably cribbed his lines from someone else's commercial.

/too obscure?

12:23 PM  

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