Monday, December 11, 2006

No crying or pouting, DoucheFace.

(click image)
Besides an overpriced bottle of hooch, what else will Santa be bringing the Balvenie Weenie® for Christmas when he flies his sleigh into the cartoon town of Doucheville?
  1. A mouth.
  2. A Fleshlight.
  3. A copy of "How To Pick Up Girls!"
  4. A pair of plaid Bermuda shorts.
  5. Hai Karate.
Please add your own gifts in the comments.
previously in Balvenie Weenie®:
7. ...overwhelming stench of scrotum sweat.
6. Balvenie Weenie® asks for it.
5. Balvenie Weenie® brings his A Game.
4. out again with the Balvenie Weenie®.
3. Balvenie Weenie® Motto.
2. Cinco de Mayo edition.
1. Balvenie Weenie®.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

An eraser.

2:05 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

on a diff note, but related topic: WTF is up with those BMW holiday commercials? I get the nostalgia concept that a BMW will bring your jaded, heavily medicated adult self a child-like excitement of Christmas. What I don't understand is why they cast an autistic kid. His relentless screaming for a good 10 seconds scares the shit out of me. The thought of having to buy toys or a BMW for an emotional disturbed, spaz is pretty depressing.

Was this commercial miscast? Or am I missing the point and perhaps, find kids more annoying than I thought possible?

2:22 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

how about a blow up doll...and a mouth to blow it up with?

4:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

This good boy will get a bottle of scotch not named Balvenie.

8:04 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Cindy Lou Who and a roast beast.

8:14 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

How do you put up with this miserable, pissy, intellectually-void industry? I do what you do, and even the ludicrous amount of money I get paid is starting to seem like slave labour when I consider the pathetic, whining wastes of skin I'm surrounded with every day.

I may kill myself. Join me. It'll only hurt for a second or two.

5:50 AM  
Blogger copyranter said...

ole, you're not following directions...

so, what are we doing? gun? jumping?

8:25 AM  
Blogger Scamp said...

a decent copywriter

12:10 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

A bottle of Tanqueray delivered by Tony Sinclair. Then, a duel to the death.

5:16 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Will you guys stop complaining about the huge salaries for your sucky jobs. I'm starting to think you're over-compensating for something that keeps me from making nearly as much because I don't have one at all.

How about dueling ninja stars at ten paces?

3:00 PM  

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