Monday, March 19, 2007

Equine's Posterior Award™, March 2007.

Senior windbag "ad critic" Bob Garfield could, seriously, win my chocolate horse's ass award every week. For the uninformed, Bob got his start in 1906 taking on snake oil advertisements. Today, he is revered all over MediaLand as the authority on ad criticism—even though he's apparently never actually produced a TV spot/ad ( at least one he's ever shown to anybody). Sure, most film critics have never made a film, but this is advertising, not art. And just to dispel your first thought—no, he's never panned a commercial I worked on. Anyway! To the Award. In last week's AdAge, Garfield interviewed Bill Gates. The session ended suchly:
Garfield: ...Those Mac ads—how do you feel about the John Hodgeman character?
Gates: I can't comment on someone else's ad.
Garfield: OK...but he's you.
Gates: Yeah, I'm not gonna comment on someone else's ad.
Garfield: OK, well Bill Gates, thank you so much for joining us.
Gates: ...
Garfield: Can I just have a clean goodbye?
Gates: ...
Garfield: OK, can you just say goodbye? Thank you or goodbye or something like that.
Gates: Goodbye.
Stellar journalism, Bob. Taking your cues from Donny Deutsch, are you?
UPDATE: Someone calling himself "Robert"—possibly Bob Garfield—has responded in the comments, calling a couple of you "douchebags." It's possible that it's him; I called him a windbag in this Gawker column and he commented on the post.
previous Equine's Posterior Award™ winners:
1. TBWA-Chiat Day creative department.
2. New York Times' David Carr.
3. Michael Goldberg, CMO, Zimmerman Group.
4. David Roman, VP, hp.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

I work at Chiat Day NY and noticed you awarded the "Chocolate Horses Ass" to the creative deptartment. However, we have yet to recieve it. Please send to:

ATTN: Patrick Higgins
488 madison ave, 7th floor,
New York, NY 10022-5702

Thank you for this great honor! We look forward to receiving our Horse's Ass.

12:04 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

And I thought his "authority" stemmed from some actual experience.

What a shithead.

Bob Garfield killed JFK.

1:05 PM  
Blogger HighJive said...

this week, garfield raved about the cinematography and production values for the new jcpenney campaign from saatchi ny — but then the douche bag gave the work 1 star.

to say garfield is revered for being the premier ad critic is like calling clarence thomas the premier black justice currently on the supreme court. getting the title by virtue of being the only one out there is not exactly an honor. garfield is a legend in his own addled and tiny mind.

if you're really a good judge of advertising, you'd be a creative director. garfield doesn't even deserve landing a job as a junior ae, for christ's sake.

2:41 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Booooooo to you. Don't you listen to NPR? Bob rules.

Of course, I suspect I discredit myself as soon as I begin an argument by saying "Don't you listen to NPR?".

2:44 PM  
Blogger Matt Brand said...

he kind of looks like the cat

3:10 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Who the FUCK is Robert Garfield?

Sounds like some 19th-century Vice Presidential candidate from Ohio.

Questions: Since it's advertising and NOT art, shouldn't his job include predicting (money winners and losers, like Jimmy the Greek?

If he does so, is he any good at it?

If not, wouldn't a tout sheet on new ads and campaigns make for a good column?

3:10 PM  
Blogger Bob Garfield said...

Gee, and I thought I gave it three stars.

-- The Douchebag

by the way, unlike all you blowhards, I sign every word I write. and to answer the guy who observes that you can keep score, over 21 years i've been proven right by the marketplace in excess of 95% of the time. so, just curious, exactly who among us is the douchebag?

7:00 PM  
Blogger Moda di Magno said...

Ranter, I'm really not sure if you should send the chocolate. Just award him an Assy© and move on.

9:16 PM  
Blogger Payo said...

"Brad, for 14 years I've been a whore for the advertising industry. The only way I could save myself now is to start firebombing. "

9:29 AM  
Blogger HighJive said...

sorry, robert.

yesterday the online review only listed one star. today it's got three.

11:14 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

See for more piling on.

11:37 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Bob, didn’t think you were still spending time with us teeming morons. Looks like most of us blowhards do sign our names. Always have.

7:52 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Wait a fuckin' minute. I'm Bob Garfield you mother fuckers. What is this? A playground for junior banner designers? I'm the fuckin' man and don't forget it you bunch of B to B wet babies.

2:46 AM  

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