BREAKING: writer endorses alcohol.
(click ad to read copy)
Chuck Palahniuk (pronounced...I don't fucking know), author of Fight Club and seven other novels, is a manly masculine (and gay, according to wikipedia) writer. He lived on a fucking cattle ranch, worked as a fucking diesel mechanic, and wrote fucking manuals on fixing fucking trucks. So of course he drinks fucking Scotch. Copy reads: "Although he hasn't slowed down for a decade, Palahniuk...nonetheless finds time to enjoy a good scotch on Friday night." Fucking-A, Chuck P. Even though I'm a fucking bourbon man myself, I would gladly do a fucking advertorial for Wild fucking Turkey 101. I think more writers should follow Palahniuk's lead and endorse their favorite fucking poison—you know, before it fucking kills them.
(scanned from this week's New Yorker)
UPDATE!—there's a heated debate going on in the comments over the pronunciation of Chuck's last name.
previously in alcohol:
1. The best tagline in the history of alcoholism.
2. Greenland coldcocks American beers.
3. Excuse Me While I Puke And Die.
4. Buzzed Driving Is Drunk Driving?
posted by copyranter @ 11:00 AM
22 Comments:
Pal-a-nick
Choke, Survivor, or Beautiful Monsters?
Anybody remember the Piels spots starring Jimmy Breslin? He's sitting at a bar and says, "Piels. It's a good drinking beer." Classic.
Breslin, I'm sure, wanted to say:
It's a fucking good drinking beer."
I've always heard it as Pal-a-nike, rhymes with spike.
I heard "Paul-a-nyuck," like the Three Stooges' sound effect.
I'm pretty sure it's "Pa - hall - nyuck"
with that second syllable being the one that you barely enunciate when you drunkenly ask the bartender why you can't be paid to drink scotch.
He also did a great story about being a male stripper in the southwest.
paula nick.
since its stolen from his relatives of the same name. homage if you will.
is this the "i shit my pants in the south of france" guy?
No archeress, that's Jonathan Ames.
I say it "Pa-LA-ni-uk," but whatevs.
And, for the record: Choke.
According to most of the websites I've seen, it's pronounced "paula-nick" Google "palahniuk pronounced" to see sources.
What, no reference to the Hemingway or Faulkner booze ads? You should never skip a chance to reference Hemingway, particularly as the ad was unintentionally hilarious. It was a Reader's Digest version of The Old Man and the Sea, only with beer at the end.
I taught a writing workshop on "his" website; the devotees there pronounce it "PAULA-nick."
thanks raincoaster. I knew Hemingway had done booze ads, but didn't know what/for whom. Faulkner is news to me.
In an interview he said it's Paula-Nick. Don't really care enough to find the link.
Choke is my favorite so far. Haven't finished Rant yet.
He is a graduate of the culty, self-helpy, feel-goody Landmark Forum. Therefore, he is at least a little bit of a pansy.
Wow. I wonder what Bukowski would promote? Ham's Beer? Carlo Rossi wine?
i. Irish Mist, dude.
ii. I can't think of any film as exceedingly sublim-homoerotic than Fight Club a la Gilgamesh/Enkidu. That was the gayest film ever. All about a club of fags who beat each other up ... is what I took away from that gayass film.
Anyhow, totes: Writer! Alcohol! Surprise! They should summon/ad-exploit some dead folk like Bukowski or Hemingway. Jack Spicer, et al. Probs sell more alcohol that way, and ergo kill-off more shitty angsty "writers."
Drinking Scotch makes me feel like a man, so does the mallard duck wall paper I have in my study. If you don't like it, get a wine cooler, Frenchie.
people have told me pal-na-check
i said wtf are you talking about.
i pronounce it, the-fight-club-guy
Paula-Nick
His uncle didn't correct me when I called him "Paula-nick."
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