Panda Potato Cutes His Way Out Of Danger.

(click ad) But as an Irishman, I cannot endorse this cheap-trick spud abuse. Anyway, 100 Manitoba potato growers were being screwed because of some law restricting their local sales, or something. Here's the background info, via a commenter on Ads of the World. Apparently, the law has now been repealed. Photoshop saves the day! Poster campaign By Cocoon Branding in Winnipeg. Previously in Photoshop animal abuse.

Selling seafood with phishy Photoshop.

(click ads, via) Top: Ads for a seafood festival at some restaurant in Mexico. Sealman and gullwoman have already eaten the catch of the day back at the dock. A bad case of Photoshop Animal Abuse. Bottom: It's Aquaman and Aquawoman for online seller Legal Sea Foods, by New York City ad agency DeVito/Verdi. Or, are they ads warning against the horrors of climate change—evolve or DIE. Oh wait, the World Wildlife Fund in Belgium already 'Shopped that idea with scary half-fish man here. Thus concludes your This Thing Is Like That Thing ad update.

Skin your pet alive with the Bissell pet vacuum attachment.

(click ads, via) It's time again for copyranter's Art Directors Gone Wild! The concept here, as it often is with today's digitally dependent dorks, is "Photoshop." These torturous images will of course appeal wonderfully to the sensitive pet owner demographic. Agency: FP7/BAH, Bahrain. Previously in: Photoshop Animal Abuse.
update: a Bissell rep wrote to tell me "this is not a Bissell advertising campaign. It was one of several concepts submitted to one of Bissell's international distributors and was never intended for publication."

copyranter on ANIMAL NY: let's take a trip to the ad zoo.

More Photoshop animal abuse, via the United Arab Emirates. (link)

The Perth Zoo has artistic elephants.

(click ads, via) For you dolts out there who know even less about art than me, the two Photoshop-abused pachyderms above represent Van Gogh and Warhol. Anyway, the Perth Zoo has two elephants named Tricia and Permai who, apparently, make artwork using their trunks, their feet, and even paintbrushes. From the press note:
"The elephants...create paintings as part of an enrichment program designed to keep them stimulated, healthy and happy. Funds raised from their artworks go towards Perth Zoo's Wildlife Conservation Action to help protect threatened species worldwide."
$40 seems a fair price. I'd just like to point out to the Perth Zoo curators that if they want Tricia or Permai to recreate an iconic Warhol, just get them to piss on some copper. Previously in: Photoshop Animal Abuse.

Photoshop Animal Abuse of the Week.

(click ads, via) "Let the sea help you breathe." Ads by Tel Aviv agency BBR Saatchi & Saatchi for Otrivin sea water nasal spray. It's the ol' literal visual approach. In rare cases, it works. Most of the time, it doesn't. These? Are just fucking scary. As, or more, scary then these and these instances of Scary Photoshop.

copyranter on ANIMAL NY: Movistar.

More puzzling Photoshop animal abuse via a Latin American cell phone company. (link)

waxing pathetic.

(click ads, which have been cropped) This latest case of Photoshop animal abuse brought to you by Queen Bee Waxing of Culver City, California—porn capital of the world. So that explains the shaved cock. Not explained: How, after viewing that hideous hairless beaver, I'm supposed to replace my eager tongue, which has killed itself by ripping free from my mouth and sliding down my esophagus to burn to death in my stomach acid. Good Monday morning to y'all (images via).
Previous waxing ads (yes, this is one of my regular beats):
• V is for Vagina Victory.
• Naughty Nads®—twat the hell?
• And SFW or NSFW?

Talk on your cell phone while driving, and you will die, and be instantly reincarnated as either a mutant praying mantis or a mutant iguana.

(click ads, via) Headline on the ads: "If you want to know what you will be in your next life, drive while talking on your cell phone." But before your soul transmigrates, you'll get blood in the ear of the person you're talking to. The ads are apparently PSAs from South American mobile phone operator Telefonica Movistar. Why those two animals, Publicis Peru (the responsible ad agency)? And, you know you're upsetting Peruvian Christians, right? Anyway, here's my ongoing ad PSA: STOP PHOTOSHOP ANIMAL ABUSE!

Well of course the CGI baby elephant was choking. He swallowed a whole damn pack of "jumbo" peanuts.

(via) Unlike the previous decent print ad execution of this idea for KayaKing jumbo peanuts, showing the elephant spitting out one big nut wouldn't work for a TV spot. So scrap the idea, right O&M Jakarta? No, they instead decided to show the digital pachyderm expectorating a whole fucking KayaKing pack, which makes no sense. Previously: Perth Zoo has a pair of painting pachyderms.
And, stop Photoshop Animal Abuse!

Today's ad that'll make art directors touch their genitals.

(click ad, via) Have you recovered from Monday's rub-out session, ADs? Well meet Hedwig the Hedgehog made of matches, who sez: "Only you can prevent forest fires...and excessive Photoshop Animal Abuse.
Ad agency: Saatchi & Saatchi, Cape Town. Previously in: ads that made art directors touch their genitals.

Today in painfully bad animal Photoshop abuse.

(click ad, via) Let Leopard lick the pain away! Which, as you can see, isn't even coming close to happening! This ad for Leopard brand pain balm is the first ad I've ever posted from Kenya! Ad agency: McCann Kenya. Art Directors! Please stop digitally mauling Big Cats! Previously in: animal Photoshop abuse.

Bullsh*t Product of the Week.

(click ad, via) Nurtureline calmdog™ dog food is "formulated with a unique blend of herbs (cannabis?) to calm the nervous system and counteract stress." You gotta be dog-shittin' me. Well then, I'm mixing some in with my Ramen tonight. At this website, it says calmdog is not a sedative, and "is not suitable for pregnant bitches." Shame that. Also, as you can see, we have yet another instance of Animal Photoshop Abuse.
Ad by Euro RSCG in Johannesburg.
Previous Bullshit Products:
• Men's tissues.
• tit-firming cream (nsfw).
• the $14,615 exercise bike.
• female orgasm enhancer.
• world's first eco-friendly vodka.

Animal Photoshop Abuse of the Week

(click ad, via) Speaking for lazy ad creatives everywhere, I apologize to the magnificent cheetahs of the Serengeti. I also apologize to blue jays and doggies and beavers and sea horses and ants and praying mantises and hippos and camels. Ad is for French meat company Charal by Leo Burnett France.

Photoshopped Fucking Dogs ads of the day.

(click ads, via)
I have nothing to add, other than: Stop Animal Photoshop Abuse (SAPA)!
Ad agency: Fischer & Friends, São Paulo, Brazil.

And here's an ad with a Rhino wearing a leather mask and a ball gag.

(click ad, via) Ad via Germany for Ültje Crispers, a dough-covered spicy peanut snack that has something to do with Africa. OK. 1.) Stop the Animal Photoshop Abuse! 2.) Germans. Perverts. Ad agency: Kolle Rebbe, Hamburg. At least there's an old-fashioned "concept" here, though.