Today's ads that'll make art directors touch their genitals.

(click ads, via) Well, at least the eggplant execution will. That Dachshund ad is just fucked the fuck up. How bout a dog turd with a brown pencil point instead? Art directors? Weed during ideation=good. Inhalants≠good. Ad agency: Serviceplan, Munich. Note: I worked on Faber-Castell in my distant past. Won an ADDY (fuck you)! Previous ads that made art directors touch their genitals: one, two.

Today's ads that'll make art directors touch their genitals.

(click ads, via) Get offf on these hott literal layouts for Gold's Gym in Montreal. Cum on and sweat and feeel the burrrn. Fuck you, headline. Fuck you, body copy. Fuck you, copywriters. Ad agency: Bleublancrouge, Canada. Didn't orgasm? Well here's five previous ads that made art directors touch their genitals.
Related: Here's a round-up of gym ads.

today's ad that'll make art directors touch their genitals.

(click ad, via) Oooooh, look at that intricate Photoshop work. Oh yeah, AD's hands around the world are under their desks right this instance. It's a PSA from the Makati City fire station in Manila, the Philippines. Good for the copywriter not getting into the way of the art director's once in a lifetime brilliant vision. By DM9 Jayme Syfu, Manila. Previous ads that made art directors rub themselves:
• Dill's digestive pills • French AIDS prevention ads • Lifebuoy • Jermrid • Levi's Kids • These bed wetting ads • And, don't drive sleepy awareness ads.

Today's ads that'll make art directors touch their genitals.

(click ads, via) Ooh. Ah. Look at that intricate retouching work. WHO CARES if I don't see "improved chewing skills" as any reason whatsoever to buy the Mint Z brand of chewing gum. I'm just a lame left-brain driven copywriter. So go pound sand, copyranter. Ad agency: Creative Juice, Indonesia. Previous ads that made art directors touch their genitals: one, two, three, four.

Today's Ad That'll Make Art Directors Touch Their Genitals™.

(click ad, via)
"The Art of Cleaning."
The Art of Cleaning?
The Art. Of Cleaning.
There's nothing artistic about cleaning. EVER.
Ad agency: Leo Burnett, Paris.
Friggin' lazy Bohemian French. Just wipe up the fucking spill.
And! Here's lots more Ads That Made Art Directors Touch Their Genitals.

Today's Ad That'll Make Art Directors Touch Their Genitals.

(click ad, via)
Translation: "Makes obstacles audible. The acoustic warning system of the parking assistant PARKTRONIC." Oh yeah baby, so sexxxy simple. So ADs, whaddaya think? Good? Bad? Fuck You? Ad agency: Jung von Matt, Vienna. Here's ten previous ads that made Art Directors touch their genitals.

Today's ad that'll make art directors touch their genitals.

(click ad, via) Have you recovered from Monday's rub-out session, ADs? Well meet Hedwig the Hedgehog made of matches, who sez: "Only you can prevent forest fires...and excessive Photoshop Animal Abuse.
Ad agency: Saatchi & Saatchi, Cape Town. Previously in: ads that made art directors touch their genitals.

Today's ad that'll make art directors touch their genitals.

(click ad, via) Timely. For some organization called Gesellschaft für bedrohte Völker (Society for Threatened People) by my good buds at ad agency Jung von Matt. Ooh. Aah. AK-47 made of bones. Eyes rolling back into head. Wet jeans. Fyi, this graphic jackoff material is not from the mind of an art director, but a photographer. Previously in: ads that'll make art directors touch their genitals.

Today's ad that'll make art directors touch their genitals.

(click ad, via) Not just a hand grenade, a "hand" grenade! Are we specifically targeting wives/girlfriends of returning soldiers, Cramer-Krasselt (the responsible ad agency)? Or are we just trying to win an award or two while doing—let's face it—next to nothing to help curb domestic violence? At least the agency probably did it pro-bono. Previously in: ads that made art directors touch their genitals.

Today's ad that'll make art directors touch their genitals.

(click ad, via) Very literal creative masturbation that will do literally nothing to curb domestic violence in the UK. Might win JWT London—who produced the ad pro bono, I'm sure—some awards though, so there's that. Yay, pathetic industry.
Related: here's five previous ads that made art directors touch their genitals.

Well, these are some very bizarre gym ads.

(click ads, via) I've had these bookmarked for awhile, waiting for a slow day. They fall into the Ads That'll Make Art Directors Touch Their Genitals sub-category. So, I get it: the body is a machine, and Gold's helps you transform yours from its present copier-like state into more of a tank- or backhoe(?)-like form. I just don't know how these would go over with your average, grunting gym mook. Maybe Gold's is trying to attract a more, uh, artistic clientele? Or, Transformers fans.
Ad agency: Jotabequ Grey, Costa Rica. Related: a round-up of bad gym ads.

Today's ads that'll make art directors touch their genitals.

(click ads, via) Hands below desks, ADs—it's that time again. Fuck wordy copywriters, right? The ads kinda work!—Alka-Seltzer pH balances your stomach, right? But I actually dislike them. I don't really know why? Maybe it's the usurping of Taoist philosophy by an evil pharmaceutical company? Maybe it's the kinda ugly two-color artwork? Maybe I'm jealous? Maybe I didn't get enough love as a child? No matter, I don't like them. Ad agency: BBDO Guatemala.
Related: Fake cat-abusing Alka-Seltzer ad via Ukraine.
Related: sexually suggestive Alka-Seltzer ad from 1969.

Today's Ads That'll Make Art Directors Touch Their Genitals.

(click ads, via)
Oh gawd, look at the precise Photoshop work. Ooh, baby babe-ee. You probably can't leaf (sorry) your thingy alone. The campaign is for Plant for the Planet, via the Hamburg office of Leagas Delaney. Finish up. OK. Well, the thing is, this exact same idea showed up last week via a Brazilian agency, and via the same artist (oops). But then, there was this from 2010.
Not so hard now, are ya? Not to worry: here're many more ads worthy of your auto-eroticism.

Art Directors! What do you think of these award-winning colored pencil ads?

(click ads)
I first posted about them in January, inviting you sex-starved ADs to touch your genitals. Well, they just won a Gold trophy in the Press category at Europe's Epica awards. I had mixed feelings about the campaign back then (particularly the dog execution), but I've come around. They're lovely. Congrats, Serviceplan, Munich.
Previous Epica 2011 winners: Swiss Life • Reporters Without Borders.

Finland is home to the wackiest McDonald's ads.

(click ad, via) A pig's snout made of cheese? Ho-kay, you crazy Finns. Previously, the same agency, DDB Helsinki, produced this udderly ridiculous ad for McDonald's milkshakes. I mean, it is a wonderfully simple graphic ad that I will add to my Ads that make Art Directors Touch their Genitals archive. But, thinking of pig parts that might be in my bacon combined with that fake-looking cheese ain't appetizing at all. Related: The disgusting McDonald's finger fries ad via Brazil.

Today's Ads That'll Make Art Directors Touch Their Genitals™.

(click ads, via Christian Stoll)
Pleasuring yourselves, AD's?
This is Unilever's first ever worldwide print campaign, according to the campaign's photographer. (I don't know what copy, if any, is on the final layouts) They sure do BRAND HARD, don't they? But I don't see any hot babes in those U's, which would be representative of Unilever's mook spray, Axe. Ad agency: O&M, NYC.

The simplest, funniest, dumbest Alcoholics Anonymous ad ever.

(click ad, via)
Hello, ad awards! Goodbye, unaffected dying alcoholics! Ad agency: McCann, Helsinki. Previously: here's three Brazilian AA print campaigns (stupid, beautiful, and insane). Related: add this to Ads That'll Make Art Directors Touch Their Genitals™. What's the font, font geeks?