Friday, September 29, 2006

"Trees are pretty. Let's use trees."

(click image)
What do you do—advertising-wise—when you're a "group" that sells all the essentials including coffee, cigarettes and cheese wiz, to the tune of $97.9 billion in annual revenue? Why, you buy a pretty stock shot of a forest and, in a classic ad misstep show-&-tell move, you trot out the tired "whole forest" cliché. Add it all up and you get an ad that says...ABSOLUTELY NOTHING. Which when you're selling, basically, heart and lung disease, is probably not a bad idea. Just keep the name and the pretty logo (which they paid millions for) in the public eye, right old boys?

previous big-ass company posts:
1. Tastes Good Like A Cigarette Should. Redux.
2. The Good Hands, Bad Taste People.
3. bp. Beyond Poppycock.
4. Vis-a-vis Bullshit.
5. HP. Huckster Plagiarism?
6. The most useless ad page ever.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

And you hide the damaging products you manufacture behind a corporate name that sounds a lot like "altruistic." Niiiice.

11:40 AM  
Blogger DCThrowback said...

I don't care, they pay dividends and the stock is cash cow. Smoking is a like slot machines: A tax on the uneducated. Since everyone who reads this site is so smart anyways, why complain?

Have some more Miracle Whip, bitches.

12:18 PM  
Blogger copyranter said...

More power to them. Their ads still suck Oscar Mayer's wiener.

1:14 PM  
Blogger New York Punk said...

ironically the ad shows trees and not the whole forest...

2:46 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I agree with DCThrowback.

The ad is saying something - its sayin that it doesn't matter that we sell all kinds of ways to kill you, what matters is that we might make you ritch!!

4:20 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Aha. I wonder if an AGM is in the offing and the CEO is trying to crank up the share price. Or there's a new marketing director. In any case, these ads are an indicator that someone on the board has their arse on the line.
Too cynical of me.

4:41 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Ooh, a fawrist. It's awl spirichewall, doncha know.
'Cept faw the chiggers.

6:37 PM  
Blogger Curiouspencil said...

If I squint enough at that logo to trigger a 'tsunamigraine' I can almost make out an 8-bit Atari character from the floppy disk of a failed designer in 1982.

And having written for enough Big Pharma companies to know they'll never use 'tsunamigraine', you're welcome to try pitching it to Monsanto, minus the 'e'; they're the kinda c*nts who won't care.

12:32 PM  

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