Wednesday, June 06, 2007

BREAKING: writer endorses alcohol.

(click ad to read copy)
Chuck Palahniuk (pronounced...I don't fucking know), author of Fight Club and seven other novels, is a manly masculine (and gay, according to wikipedia) writer. He lived on a fucking cattle ranch, worked as a fucking diesel mechanic, and wrote fucking manuals on fixing fucking trucks. So of course he drinks fucking Scotch. Copy reads: "Although he hasn't slowed down for a decade, Palahniuk...nonetheless finds time to enjoy a good scotch on Friday night." Fucking-A, Chuck P. Even though I'm a fucking bourbon man myself, I would gladly do a fucking advertorial for Wild fucking Turkey 101. I think more writers should follow Palahniuk's lead and endorse their favorite fucking poison—you know, before it fucking kills them.
(scanned from this week's New Yorker)
UPDATE!—there's a heated debate going on in the comments over the pronunciation of Chuck's last name.
previously in alcohol:
1. The best tagline in the history of alcoholism.
2. Greenland coldcocks American beers.
3. Excuse Me While I Puke And Die.
4. Buzzed Driving Is Drunk Driving?


Anonymous Anonymous said...


Choke, Survivor, or Beautiful Monsters?

1:45 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Anybody remember the Piels spots starring Jimmy Breslin? He's sitting at a bar and says, "Piels. It's a good drinking beer." Classic.

1:58 PM  
Blogger copyranter said...

Breslin, I'm sure, wanted to say:
It's a fucking good drinking beer."

2:24 PM  
Blogger Unknown said...

I've always heard it as Pal-a-nike, rhymes with spike.

2:45 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I heard "Paul-a-nyuck," like the Three Stooges' sound effect.

3:03 PM  
Blogger Mr.Nomoniker said...

I'm pretty sure it's "Pa - hall - nyuck"
with that second syllable being the one that you barely enunciate when you drunkenly ask the bartender why you can't be paid to drink scotch.

He also did a great story about being a male stripper in the southwest.

3:52 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

paula nick.

since its stolen from his relatives of the same name. homage if you will.

4:22 PM  
Blogger G. Genova said...

is this the "i shit my pants in the south of france" guy?

4:38 PM  
Blogger copyranter said...

No archeress, that's Jonathan Ames.

4:53 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I say it "Pa-LA-ni-uk," but whatevs.

And, for the record: Choke.

8:31 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

According to most of the websites I've seen, it's pronounced "paula-nick" Google "palahniuk pronounced" to see sources.

8:44 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

What, no reference to the Hemingway or Faulkner booze ads? You should never skip a chance to reference Hemingway, particularly as the ad was unintentionally hilarious. It was a Reader's Digest version of The Old Man and the Sea, only with beer at the end.

9:37 PM  
Blogger Startha Mewart said...

I taught a writing workshop on "his" website; the devotees there pronounce it "PAULA-nick."

8:50 AM  
Blogger copyranter said...

thanks raincoaster. I knew Hemingway had done booze ads, but didn't know what/for whom. Faulkner is news to me.

9:03 AM  
Blogger Unknown said...

In an interview he said it's Paula-Nick. Don't really care enough to find the link.

Choke is my favorite so far. Haven't finished Rant yet.

12:08 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

He is a graduate of the culty, self-helpy, feel-goody Landmark Forum. Therefore, he is at least a little bit of a pansy.

2:13 PM  
Blogger Matt Brand said...

Wow. I wonder what Bukowski would promote? Ham's Beer? Carlo Rossi wine?

3:31 PM  
Blogger Tara said...

i. Irish Mist, dude.

ii. I can't think of any film as exceedingly sublim-homoerotic than Fight Club a la Gilgamesh/Enkidu. That was the gayest film ever. All about a club of fags who beat each other up ... is what I took away from that gayass film.

Anyhow, totes: Writer! Alcohol! Surprise! They should summon/ad-exploit some dead folk like Bukowski or Hemingway. Jack Spicer, et al. Probs sell more alcohol that way, and ergo kill-off more shitty angsty "writers."

6:48 PM  
Blogger DRC said...

Drinking Scotch makes me feel like a man, so does the mallard duck wall paper I have in my study. If you don't like it, get a wine cooler, Frenchie.

8:54 PM  
Blogger indefinitelee said...

people have told me pal-na-check

i said wtf are you talking about.

i pronounce it, the-fight-club-guy

4:35 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...


7:39 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

His uncle didn't correct me when I called him "Paula-nick."

1:49 AM  

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