Wednesday, April 25, 2007

Sailing with Carson & Justin.


It's been awhile since I checked in with Hickey-Freeman's little future i-bankers. Last Summer in Amagansett, the precocious twats got the absolute bejesus beaten out of them by a gang of local skater punks. Poor Justin's favorite jacket was left in tatters. No matter. Mommy Socialite and Daddy Analyst sued the punks' parents, donated the boys' old rags to the Salvation Army, and bought them whole new H-F Summer wardrobes. This season, Justin is again the bro with the more adventurous tastes—check out that groovetastic trippiness! Kid Carson sports the classic, but never old, bright white suit. Boy toys ahoy matey!
previously in stupid fashion ads:
1. Hey boys want some PUNCH?
2. What's Italian for Twat?
3. Diesel woos fcuk hoi polloi.
4. DEAD is the new BLACK.
5. Jimmy Choo. Shoes to die for.
6. Gays don't shop Daffy's.
7. Fendi No. 5.

15 Comments:

Blogger Erin Bradley said...

I can't tell you how many times I've stared at those ads when I come across them. Fucked UP. I'd love to see a True Hollywood Story on them in 10 years.

10:56 AM  
Blogger Buffalo66 said...

Ranter,
Are you doing a 2nd round playoff preview on Deadspin? I miss the hard hitting analysis that was such a big part of your round 1 previews. A 5-2-1 record is nothing to be ashamed of (the tie being the DET/CGY series - where, for reasons unknown, you couldn't decide who was going to win).

1:01 PM  
Blogger copyranter said...

buffalo66—no. only a finals preview. for you, I will call Buffalo in 6 or 7.

1:05 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

i can't figure out why these kids never age...
i have been seeing their oddly freckled (skin cancer?) faces for years and they never get any friggin older!?

and... the one has an eerie resemblence to damion

2:35 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Wow, they are trickin' them out younger and younger these days.

2:47 PM  
Blogger bb said...

this campaign continues to weird me out. how long has this been going? three/four/five years? WEIRD CHILDREN

3:05 PM  
Blogger Kate said...

How about the Ralph Lauren Mini-Douches(TM) that used to be on the New York Times? I hate Ralph Lauren for making it impossible for me to say I never would hurt a child.

3:13 PM  
Blogger ricpic said...

A kid who looked like these two once sat on my face -- and farted. And the worst part is that these rotten fuckers grow up and go on farting on my face. I won't have it! I won't. I won't. BWAAAAAAAAAAAAA..........

5:05 PM  
Blogger Downtown Style said...

ok. i gave two boys this age & i would have to threaten to smash all their video games w/ a sledge hammer and wear my pajamas to their school to get them into those getups. That is child abuse.....

8:05 PM  
Blogger globalchameleon said...

The Brooks Brothers near my Metro stop (in Washington, DC) features these kids in headless mannequin form. One is wearing (if I recall correctly) a seersucker blazer over a hoodie while riding a 1920s-style bike. (Perhaps this mannequin is headless because the ones from Gap Kids beat him senseless)

10:23 PM  
Anonymous Uncle Joe (Never Convicted) said...

"Perfect at Any Age" earns the NAMBLA seal of approval.

8:12 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

children of the corn

9:35 PM  
Blogger James-H said...

Damn you Kate, for TMing "Mini-Douche" - which is EXACTLY what popped into my mind the first time I saw these little fuckers. Now I have to pay you royalties or something?

Scarier still that the Sonny Crocket look is back. Again.

10:49 PM  
Blogger Security Dog said...

I have had children dressed like this come to my door. Of course, their parents are with them, and they do ask if I am ready to repent to our Lord Jesus Christ.

4:16 AM  
Blogger Security Dog said...

I have had children dressed like this come to my door. Of course, their parents are with them, and they do ask if I am ready to repent to our Lord Jesus Christ.

4:17 AM  

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