1905—Coke the best thing ever in the history of everything.

(click ad) One-hundred and four years ago, delightful, healthful Coca-Cola relieved fatigue and was indispensable for all men, including wheelmen, and was the favorite drink for ladies when thirsty, weary, and despondent. That's some copywritin' right there. Happiness Factory, Smappiness Factory (image via). Previously in: Coca-Cola. related: 1938—the very first Pepsi can. 1950—the perfect Pepsi party people.

(NSFW-ish) Olialia Cola is "SexyCola"

(click ads) View the sexiest, and most sexist, soft drink ads ever produced. Each one is better (worse!) than the next. Some of these poster ads for Lithuanian cola brand Olialia are older than others, but all are new to me. I was alerted to the most recent one from June (lower right) by an anon commenter on the now-infamous BK BJ ad post. Here's the accompanying assy five-second TV spot. I love the total usurping of Coca-Cola's iconic redness. You don't really need a translation to understand the subtle messages, but go to town, if so moved (images via). Previous soft drink ads: I don't Wanta Fanta. Ladies, drink Tab—and be a "Mindsticker"

Coke's Super Bowl "live ad" polar bears found dead.

(click, via)
Hours before they were supposed to star in "real-time" ads during the Super Bowl XLV NBC broadcast, the two "fan-bears" were found floating dead near their "snowfa" by Canadian helicopters. The cause of death has been determined to be global warming.
Asked for a statement, CEO Muhtar Kent said, "This was a tragic and untimely loss for the Coca-Cola company, America, and the world." Kent had no comment when asked to defend the ridiculousness of a company that significantly contributes to global warming being represented by polar bears.
Lots more Greenpeace ads here.

French designer reimagines the Coke bottle. Sexy? Hideous?

(click image) "Visionary" (his term) Jerome Olivet presents "Mystic," an experimental Coca-Cola bottle he calls "spiritual" and "supernatural" and "ambiguous" and "poetry." I call it "an unimaginative waste of plastic." I think the first Pepsi can from 1938 was a better design. But then, I'm a lowly copywriter who, in 7th grade metal shop, fashioned the ugliest candle holder in the history of humanity (pic available for media stories).
What do you call it?

Giant Lego-like CokeMan attacks Johannesburg.

(click images) He's made of 2,500 Coke crates, weighs 25 tons and stands 16.5 meters tall, according to cherryflava. He's ostensibly an artistic recycling initiative (ha, call him Irony Man) created for Coca-Cola by Animal Farm. But really, with the World Cup starting Friday in South Africa, CokeMan is a big-ass BrandMan. He certainly beats that hideous 200,000 Coke recycling sculpture from last Summer. Previous ad sculptures: • Osama bin Plastic. • World's largest up-skirt billboard. • 15-ton drunk-driving awareness obelisk made of 80 wrecked cars. • 54-acre Verizon Guy made of corn.

It's the "Greenest" billboard ever!

(click image, via) The World Wildlife Fund and Coke (what?) have teamed up in the Philippines to erect the most eco-tastic billboard on the face on the earth. It's made of 3,600 Fukien tea plants, which apparently absorb pollution? In fact, Anthony Gao, a botanist who worked with Coca-Cola and the WWF, said each plant could absorb up to 13 pounds of carbon dioxide a year, on average. The plant pots are even made of recycled Coke products. The plants are watered with a drip irrigation system for efficient distribution. I'd be getting goosebumps if it wasn't for global warming. Previously: dying polar bear travels thousands of miles to thank man for buying a Nissan Leaf. Related: five instances of tragically ironic green marketing. And the worst Green ad award goes to: Iberia airlines.

copyranter on ANIMAL NY: Coca-Cola.

View an ironic ugly 200,000 can sculpture over the white cliffs of Sussex promoting national recycling week in the UK. (link)

Worse than confusing.

enviga. Named after the Greek God of Hooey. Joint marketers Coca-Cola and Nestlé are already facing their first lawsuit from the Center for Science in the Public Interest. Even Coke's own guarded claim—that you have to drink 3 FUCKING CANS just to burn 60-100 MEASLY CALORIES—is more than likely Bullshit. The crap is not yet available nationwide, but here in Manhattan, it seems like every subway station is plastered with these posters (photo taken at the Broadway/Lafayette stop.). Drink up, early adopters.
previously in stupid new-age beverages:
1. Anthropomorphism to the power of Retarded.
2. Perrier. Shittier.
3. DEAD BULL: Victorious Matador.
4. 50's packin'. Nutrients.

The Colonel wants his Coke® money.

Africa is the "It" continent right now. And Libyan leader Muammar Gaddafi knows it. Which is why the pissed off Krazy Kolonel is claiming that the "It" in "Coke Is It" is in fact African.
"The essential ingredients for Coca-Cola come from African plants and so compensation must be paid to us."
(story link)
(is this fucking week over yet?)