Dirty Thought Condom Bubbles.

(click ads, via) Friday afternoon condom ad update: via Publicis in Zurich, a print ad from a campaign for Ceylor rubbers (the other two were less provocative). Well, we've seen hot models blowing fruit-flavored condom gum bubbles and boinking bunnies made out of condom bubbles previously. Here, a scofflaw is wishing for some cop rear-end interrogation.
I really don't have anything to say, I'm just keeping up my commitment to cover condom ads of all sorts. XL condom ads. Climax-delay condom ads. Ads for extra thin condoms. Extra pleasure condom ads. Retro condom ads. Disgusting condom ads. Heated condom ads. Funny condom ads. Horrifying condom ads. And the most practical condom ad ever.

Presenting Condom Ads with Sperm Butterflies/Fireflies.

(click ads, via) For Carex "ultra safe" condoms, via Malaysia. If your man has glow-in-the-dark little guys, yes absolutely, wear an ultra safe condom. You don't want to give birth to the Toxic Avenger. Yet another condom ad update from the adman who covers more condom ads than any man. (Here's nine Durex ads from around the world, for instance.) Ad agency: Grey Group, Kuala Lumper.
Previously in: Spermy condom ads. Previously in: SpermVertising.

Ugly? Use a condom.

(click ads, via) These couples are Visions of Hideousness according to condom maker Olla. Advertisers? No matter how cartoonish you make the people in your haha ugly people ads, the strategy is insulting and a mistake. Note: to me, the men in these ads got hit by the ugly stick much more than the women. South American Condom Ad Month continues here on the 'ranter. Here's the third ad from the campaign, by ad agency Age Comunicação. in São Paulo, Brazil.
Previous Olla condom ads by Age:
• Penal Sperm.
• The cutest climax-delay condom ad you'll cum across.

XL Condom Ads of the Week.

(click ads, via) So big, you can make balloon animals out of them. Sorry, not hyperbolic enough; should have made them life-size. In for an inch, in for a mile (that's what she sa...nevermind). Also, the idea of condom balloon animals has been done much better before. Ad agency: Leo Burnett, Belgium. You wanna see some batshit crazy XL condom print ads? Here ya go. Related: follow the links in this Monica Lewinsky flavored condom ad to see about 50 more prophylactic ads.

The Insane-ist Extra-Long Condom Ads You'll Ever See.

(click ads twice, via) Seriously. Look at these fucking (literally) illustrations for Adam brand large condoms (a product of Indian pharmaceutical company Morepen Laboratories Limited). Forgot the long-distance copulating. Look at: The frog wearing one sneak looking for his micro-penis with a magnifying glass; the mouse doggy stylin' a drunk cat; and ants lassoing a chicken-football wearing one Converse sneak. Agency: Publicis India.
Previous large condom ads:
• ABSOLUT 8".
• It's raining (se)men.
• Manix condoms: for three-legged men.
• The condom flash mob of Spermatozoa.

Flavored Condom Ads: If only my balls tasted like vanilla ice cream.

(click ads, via adland) Once again, an ad agency (India's 1pointsize) fails to sell me on the appeal of flavored condoms. These are for the Kama Sutra brand Excite! flavoured "dotted" condoms. Like I've said before, if you are a super busy male/female sex worker sucking 10+ sheathed cones a day, I could see buying some to lessen the drudgery. I do appreciate the phallicism, though.
Previous flavored condom ads: Monica Lewinsky • Men getting their penises painfully chomped on • And German supermodels blowing tutti-frutti condom bubbles.

To avoid a f*cking embarrassing death, use a condom.

(click ads) Men do the stupidest things. Well-photographed, blackly comical print ads by Istanbul agency RPM Radar for O.K., a Turkish brand of prophylactics. The line loosely translate to: "Don't say: 'It won't happen to me.'" Previously, O.K. used a strange image of an erect penis wearing a toque to pitch (heh) their "Hot Touch" rubbers. "Where's the hot half-naked chick at?", you may be wondering. Well, these executions continue the recent unsexy trend of using the hard (heh) sell approach to sell safe sex. Do the ads work? They do strongly connect "reckless" with "condom-less." Click here for a post featuring a roundup of many of the recent condom ads from around the world (images via).

The most f*cked up orgy ever.

(click ad, via) Headline: "In case 2012 isn't 2012." So, just in case the Mayan Apocalypse materializes, make sure and stock up on Tulipan condoms, I guess. In addition to all manner of human hook-ups, I spy: a chimp fucking Mona Lisa; an over-sized praying mantis fucking a woman; a skeleton doggystyling a woman; and a green bird of some sort eating a woman's ass. See what you can see. By Y&R Buenos Aires. Previous South American condom ads: happiness is other people's children • the cutest climax delay condom ad ever • skeletons fucking • and, the dumbest condom ad I've ever seen.
I've posted about 100 condom ads. Search through them here.

These Durex condom ads confuse the f*ck out of me.

(click ads, via) Ads titled "Anal" and "Oral" for Durex featherlite ultima condoms. Tagline: "Zero degrees of separation." OK, so (left) I'm ramming feathers into my lover's ass. But, what's going on with that "Oral" ad? Is that her chin? Is she sucking me off with a mouthful of feathers? I've heard of using Altoids and ice cubes. What the fuck, Singapore? Ad agency: 3-sixty Brand Communications. Here's nine previous Durex ads. And here's more What The Fuck, Singapore? ads.

Happiness is other people's children.

(click ads, via) It's South American condom ad week on copyranter. I know, I post condom ads too frequently (search condom). Well, if you don't like it, go fuck yourself (with a condom!). Here, via Y&R in Buenos Aires, The Tulipan brand eschews the popular bullshit better sex sell, and delivers the practical anti-life message that we're not allowed to mention here in the US of A. Nice photography. The previous Y&R Tulipan ad was idiotic.

Lies Well Disguised, #49.

CONDOM ADS! NAKED FENCING!
Today on Gawker: after reading an AdAge piece about the unending unwillingness of the networks to air condom ads, I dug up some international contraceptive advertising that will never, ever in a million years be seen in America. (link) Why? Because our church/state dynamic ain't that different from Spain's, circa 1490. To read any of the 48 previous Lies Well Disguised, just type those three words up in the search window.

Old People. Wore ugly fashions. Still f*ck.

(click ads, via) Use-a-condom ads targeting the Olds (including me) via the UK's Family Planning Association. The last lines of copy: "So if you want to enjoy a few more perfect summers of love, remember - condoms rock. Use them!" A few more perfect summers? Hey, thanks for depressing the FUCK out of me. Literally. And yes, I remember wearing scary-ugly clothes. (I had a powder blue leisure suit. I'm wearing it in my high school yearbook pic.) More depression. Urge to fuck, ebbing, ebbing, gone. Congratulations, your ads worked. Oh so cute retro art-directed campaign by London ad agency tea. Previously in: noteworthy safe sex ads.

"Hi Mom! I got my first modeling job! Well uh, I'm blowing condom bubbles...but my hair looks nice!"

(click ads for closer look)
Billy Boy condoms, "No.1 in Germany," cum in three flavors—tuttufrutti (L), strawberry (R), and orange. I (and probably NYU students) don't really get the draw of flavored condoms. I guess if I was an escort and had to give 10 blowjobs a day to condom-wearing men or eat 10 asses I'd just plundered, I might want some different tastes for variety. I guess I could also mix in some flavored lubricants, and turn the trick's cock or asshole into an exotic fruit salad. Bon appétit!
(images via)
And remember ad students: like I said yesterday, no condom ads in your portfolio!

Quebec AIDS coalition appeals to materialistic Gays.

(click ads) The press note accompanying these ads for the Quebec Coalition Against AIDS (COCQ-Sida) reads: "The campaign focuses on objects highly appreciated by homosexuals, using evocative symbols to offer the target audience a different take on the issue." A different take, indeed! That take being...highly insulting? "Please wear a condom for me, lover. If not for me, then do it for my Mini." Poor asphyxiated Chihuahua. Ads by Montreal agency Marketel. (images via) previously in AIDS ads: Mick and Madonna's alleged sex lives. MTV's old-timey porn AIDS ads. Sarah Silverman's leaked World AIDS Day song. Ken Cole's insipid AIDS ads, one two. And, the coolest AIDS prevention ads ever produced.

top 5 BuzzFeed posts of the week.

• The 21 most offensive fake ads of the year (above).
• NYC's shameful new teen pregnancy ads.
• This woman is Dunkin' Donuts' employee of the century.
• Amazingly awful newspaper headline of the year.
• 16 XL condom ads from around the world.

Museum of Sex Bursts its Blowjob Balloons.

Yesterday, I received an email from Jessica Vaccaro from the museum about my blowjob balloons post from Monday:
"The Museum of Sex is not having an exhibition on oral sex nor are we giving out free balloons. The entire thing was completely fabricated by Lowe and is in direct copyright infringement of the Museum of Sex. I would appreciate it, if you removed it from your site."
So, a total scam job by their ad agency, Lowe NY. But why so prudish, Jessica? The post traveled around the web like widlfire, and generated a shitload of free publicity for your museum. And, no, I'm not removing it from my site.
previous scam ads: HP—the H stands for Hitler. German pharmacy's despot sperm condom ads. Soft Silk's sphinctertising. Egyptian Bayer first-aid cream ads show moms cooking their children.

Shouldn't that be a cat...or maybe a gerbil?

(click ad for closer look)
It's not the the most disgusting condom/lube ad I've ever seen (that would be this one), but it is the most confusing. The product is Control Adapta condoms with extra lube. Maybe in Spain where this ad supposedly ran, "conejo" (rabbit) is a euphemism for vagina? Anybody? (update: the all-knowing urban dictionary has a conejo/vagina reference.) Anyway, the visual here instantly reminds me of this legendary white-trash t-shirt. Previously in condom ads, lube ads. (image via) update 2: first post of 2009, and I'm 100% wrong. Apologies Euro RSCG in Madrid. Still, it's certainly not an original visual.

The Dirtiest Condom Ads Ever.

(click ads) How old are these models? Anyway, translation: "Spring Has Arrived." Tulipan is a popular prophylactic brand in South America. September 21st marked both the first day of Spring and Student Day in Argentina. Put one and one together, and you get the pictures. There are boys in the campaign too, but they're not that cute. By Y&R, Buenos Aires. Oh, you wanted to see the dirtiest condom ad ever? That would be either this one, this one, or these (seriously nsfw).

Would you to like to read a condom ad with 936 words in it?

(click, via)
The count's close. Be my guest to double check it. The ad is for Prudence extra large condoms, a brand heretofore unknown to me. And I've covered a lot of condom ads in the last 6+ years. You know, I'm not left with a good feeling about this brand after reading these 936 words. If you're gonna make me read 936 words in a fucking ad, it better be very entertaining/enlightening/arousing. Maybe it works better in Portuguese. Ad agency: Z+, Saõ Paulo, Brazil. Related: this is the best condom ad via Brazil I've seen. And these are the worst.

Kama Sutra Condom Ads Bizarre On Multiple Levels

First off, Ogilvy & Mather India, what's with the radioactive material logo design flourish? Trying to scare the troops into buying the big 50 pack with some end-of-the-world imagery?
Secondly, are you encouraging our army boys in India to cheat on their significant others by engaging in multiple-position monster sex sessions with your country's prostitutes?
Thirdly, Seriously, WTF???
(image via. there's also sailor and astronaut versions)
previously in condoms:
1. It's raining se(men).
2. condom technology blows.
3. NYU students learn the ten easy steps to using a condom.