Dirty Thought Condom Bubbles.

(click ads, via) Friday afternoon condom ad update: via Publicis in Zurich, a print ad from a campaign for Ceylor rubbers (the other two were less provocative). Well, we've seen hot models blowing fruit-flavored condom gum bubbles and boinking bunnies made out of condom bubbles previously. Here, a scofflaw is wishing for some cop rear-end interrogation.
I really don't have anything to say, I'm just keeping up my commitment to cover condom ads of all sorts. XL condom ads. Climax-delay condom ads. Ads for extra thin condoms. Extra pleasure condom ads. Retro condom ads. Disgusting condom ads. Heated condom ads. Funny condom ads. Horrifying condom ads. And the most practical condom ad ever.

Presenting Condom Ads with Sperm Butterflies/Fireflies.

(click ads, via) For Carex "ultra safe" condoms, via Malaysia. If your man has glow-in-the-dark little guys, yes absolutely, wear an ultra safe condom. You don't want to give birth to the Toxic Avenger. Yet another condom ad update from the adman who covers more condom ads than any man. (Here's nine Durex ads from around the world, for instance.) Ad agency: Grey Group, Kuala Lumper.
Previously in: Spermy condom ads. Previously in: SpermVertising.

Ugly? Use a condom.

(click ads, via) These couples are Visions of Hideousness according to condom maker Olla. Advertisers? No matter how cartoonish you make the people in your haha ugly people ads, the strategy is insulting and a mistake. Note: to me, the men in these ads got hit by the ugly stick much more than the women. South American Condom Ad Month continues here on the 'ranter. Here's the third ad from the campaign, by ad agency Age Comunicação. in São Paulo, Brazil.
Previous Olla condom ads by Age:
• Penal Sperm.
• The cutest climax-delay condom ad you'll cum across.

The most f*cked up orgy ever.

(click ad, via) Headline: "In case 2012 isn't 2012." So, just in case the Mayan Apocalypse materializes, make sure and stock up on Tulipan condoms, I guess. In addition to all manner of human hook-ups, I spy: a chimp fucking Mona Lisa; an over-sized praying mantis fucking a woman; a skeleton doggystyling a woman; and a green bird of some sort eating a woman's ass. See what you can see. By Y&R Buenos Aires. Previous South American condom ads: happiness is other people's children • the cutest climax delay condom ad ever • skeletons fucking • and, the dumbest condom ad I've ever seen.
I've posted about 100 condom ads. Search through them here.

XL Condom Ads of the Week.

(click ads, via) So big, you can make balloon animals out of them. Sorry, not hyperbolic enough; should have made them life-size. In for an inch, in for a mile (that's what she sa...nevermind). Also, the idea of condom balloon animals has been done much better before. Ad agency: Leo Burnett, Belgium. You wanna see some batshit crazy XL condom print ads? Here ya go. Related: follow the links in this Monica Lewinsky flavored condom ad to see about 50 more prophylactic ads.

"...and the heathens sheathed their penises in Devil Skins."

GET SOME?
For those readers not from the sleazy City of New York, this is the new, government-sanctioned tagline for the official NYC Department of Health condoms...why not just make it GET SOME WET TIGHT WAXED PUSSY? Don't we have enough of a reputation as the God-less liberal Gomorrah of America, Mayor Bloomberg (who is currently and ongoing-ly fornicating out of wedlock)? What's next? Official NYC Condom Umbrellas?!? Condom Gumball machines?!? EvilDoers!
If we're going to be so promiscuous as to hand out free rubbers, then I propose we package them in something like the above (R) paper condom wrapper from the 1930s. It would serve as a stern reminder to idolatrous New Yorkers that every single sperm is sacred (thank you, Monty Python), and maybe then, more local men would think before they shoot.
("Devil Skin" image via—where you can see 20 other paper condom wrappers from the 1930s & 1940s.)

Happiness is other people's children.

(click ads, via) It's South American condom ad week on copyranter. I know, I post condom ads too frequently (search condom). Well, if you don't like it, go fuck yourself (with a condom!). Here, via Y&R in Buenos Aires, The Tulipan brand eschews the popular bullshit better sex sell, and delivers the practical anti-life message that we're not allowed to mention here in the US of A. Nice photography. The previous Y&R Tulipan ad was idiotic.

To avoid a f*cking embarrassing death, use a condom.

(click ads) Men do the stupidest things. Well-photographed, blackly comical print ads by Istanbul agency RPM Radar for O.K., a Turkish brand of prophylactics. The line loosely translate to: "Don't say: 'It won't happen to me.'" Previously, O.K. used a strange image of an erect penis wearing a toque to pitch (heh) their "Hot Touch" rubbers. "Where's the hot half-naked chick at?", you may be wondering. Well, these executions continue the recent unsexy trend of using the hard (heh) sell approach to sell safe sex. Do the ads work? They do strongly connect "reckless" with "condom-less." Click here for a post featuring a roundup of many of the recent condom ads from around the world (images via).

Would you to like to read a condom ad with 936 words in it?

(click, via)
The count's close. Be my guest to double check it. The ad is for Prudence extra large condoms, a brand heretofore unknown to me. And I've covered a lot of condom ads in the last 6+ years. You know, I'm not left with a good feeling about this brand after reading these 936 words. If you're gonna make me read 936 words in a fucking ad, it better be very entertaining/enlightening/arousing. Maybe it works better in Portuguese. Ad agency: Z+, Saõ Paulo, Brazil. Related: this is the best condom ad via Brazil I've seen. And these are the worst.

The Insane-ist Extra-Long Condom Ads You'll Ever See.

(click ads twice, via) Seriously. Look at these fucking (literally) illustrations for Adam brand large condoms (a product of Indian pharmaceutical company Morepen Laboratories Limited). Forgot the long-distance copulating. Look at: The frog wearing one sneak looking for his micro-penis with a magnifying glass; the mouse doggy stylin' a drunk cat; and ants lassoing a chicken-football wearing one Converse sneak. Agency: Publicis India.
Previous large condom ads:
• ABSOLUT 8".
• It's raining (se)men.
• Manix condoms: for three-legged men.
• The condom flash mob of Spermatozoa.

Kama Sutra Condom Ads Bizarre On Multiple Levels

First off, Ogilvy & Mather India, what's with the radioactive material logo design flourish? Trying to scare the troops into buying the big 50 pack with some end-of-the-world imagery?
Secondly, are you encouraging our army boys in India to cheat on their significant others by engaging in multiple-position monster sex sessions with your country's prostitutes?
Thirdly, Seriously, WTF???
(image via. there's also sailor and astronaut versions)
previously in condoms:
1. It's raining se(men).
2. condom technology blows.
3. NYU students learn the ten easy steps to using a condom.

I WOULD spread the word about HIV, but I can't talk with this condom on my tongue.

That would be some uncomfortable oral, wouldn't it boys and girls? This concept, by the Milan office of agency.com, is what we ad folk like to call a "first idea." Usually, first ideas end up in the trash can, like used condoms. Also, this video should have been about half as long. Here's the accompanying website for the effort. And here's a bunch of people with condom's on their tongues (the ones with green rubbers are especially disgusting). Previous HIV awareness ads: (nsfw) Pubes. Old-timey Porn. Super depressing. Condom-suffocated Chihuahua. Handsy. 14,123 condoms? Ken Cole handbags=AIDS. And trippy.

"Hi Mom! I got my first modeling job! Well uh, I'm blowing condom bubbles...but my hair looks nice!"

(click ads for closer look)
Billy Boy condoms, "No.1 in Germany," cum in three flavors—tuttufrutti (L), strawberry (R), and orange. I (and probably NYU students) don't really get the draw of flavored condoms. I guess if I was an escort and had to give 10 blowjobs a day to condom-wearing men or eat 10 asses I'd just plundered, I might want some different tastes for variety. I guess I could also mix in some flavored lubricants, and turn the trick's cock or asshole into an exotic fruit salad. Bon appétit!
(images via)
And remember ad students: like I said yesterday, no condom ads in your portfolio!

Condom Ad of the Week.

(click ad) My goodness, I haven't posted a condom ad since June 20th! This one for Pronto condoms is not new, but I hadn't seen it before. The selling point is that its package is an applicator, enabling you to sheath your schlong swiftly. Here's video of how it works. The ad? Enough with the cock as cock visuals. Country: South Africa. Ad agency: unknown. Via. Previously: follow the links in this Durex chocolate-flavored prophylactic  ad featuring Monica Lewinsky to see about 50 more condom ads.

the choo-choo is stuck in the poo-poo.

(click image for closer look)
FUCK. I'd love to get a chance to work on a fucking lubricant account. Is there any easier assignment? Use some sort of hole visual, and riff off that. Google Image search "hole" and you've got 10 campaign ideas. That said, this ad for Durex Play lubricant is not bad. The playful model train set sets the right tone for the product. previously in Durex: the most confusing condom ad ever. previously in condom advertising: proud as a (pea)cock; it's raining (se)men; doing Sudoku doggiestyle; and tuttfrutti condom bubbles. (image via) update: apparently this is an in-store POP display poster, so it had to be a kid-friendly idea.

The least sexual, most interesting condom commercial ever produced.

(via) It's not a new spot; it won a Gold Lion at Cannes last summer. But I hadn't seen it before. It's for Sagami .002, the world's thinnest condom. As the two lovers (the man from Fukuoka, and the woman from Tokyo) run to meet each other, the distance between them is documented on-screen, in millimeters. Thus, the product benefit is permanently planted in your brain. Along with the Durex boinking balloon bunnies, the best condom TV advertising I've seen.
Related: • The most practical prophylactic print ad come-on ever.

Flavored Condom Ads: If only my balls tasted like vanilla ice cream.

(click ads, via adland) Once again, an ad agency (India's 1pointsize) fails to sell me on the appeal of flavored condoms. These are for the Kama Sutra brand Excite! flavoured "dotted" condoms. Like I've said before, if you are a super busy male/female sex worker sucking 10+ sheathed cones a day, I could see buying some to lessen the drudgery. I do appreciate the phallicism, though.
Previous flavored condom ads: Monica Lewinsky • Men getting their penises painfully chomped on • And German supermodels blowing tutti-frutti condom bubbles.

Monica Lewinsky could suck the chocolate out of a soufflé.

(click ad) Good Monday morning, trolls. This is of course not a new condom ad but it is a condom ad that I hadn't seen before—and I've seen almost all of the condom ads from the last five years. It was tucked into an adme.ru prophylactic ad retrospective post from last Friday. It doesn't make a lick of sense because Miss Lewinsky reportedly blew Billy's willy willy-nilly. Also, like most flavored condoms, Durex's are sugar-free. Here's the corresponding video from the campaign. Fyi: Humo is a Belgian humor magazine. Related: The Axe Effect made Hillary want to fuck Obama.

Kebabs with Sperm Sauce.

(click images, via) RakO was the first branded condom in Hungary. This nauseating bit of ambient advertising was created by their Budapest ad agency Insomnia. Yes, the copy line translates as "Non-drip pleasure." From the agency press notes:

"Many (young people) visit fast-food restaurants where they often eat kebab packed in the well-known foil which protects clothes from having unwanted sauce-drops on them. So this foil secures protection for everyone to enjoy the pleasure of eating a kebab. And it is a coincidence that RakO condoms have the same function: securing safe sex for people - with no dripping."

It sells condoms. It doesn't sell kebabs (at least with yoghurt sauce), though.
Previous ambient condom advertising:
• Flash Mob of Human Spermatozoa.
• Jontex condom umbrellas—it's raining (Se)men.

The cutest climax-delay condom ad you'll ever cum across.

(click ad, via) Fun SpermVertising update! I've covered a shitload of condom ads, good, bad, and ugly, in the last five years. Here's a post with a roundup of many them. But this one, for Olla Prolong condoms with climax delay by São Paulo ad agency Age Comunicações, is the most precious. Look at those patient Spermatozoa hanging in the testes, waiting for their man and his numbed knob to reach the eventual point of no return. There're chess-playing sperms, guitar-playing sperms, solitaire-playing sperms, sperms resting in hammocks, etc. It's a sperm sit-in! Fucking cute ad. Here's a previous Olla condom ad featuring an imprisoned sperm being visited by an egg.