Monday, June 11, 2007

Racks of Booze.

(click Salmas for closer look)
Previously (left), I was left scratching my head wondering if Campari was really simply using Salma Hayek's big tits and only Salma Hayek's big tits to sell their yucky liqueur. I visited the "Hotel Campari" website in search of a movie tie-in or hotel story line to go with the print ads, and found nothing but a passionless short video and some stills. Now (right), a second print ad from the campaign—found in yesterday's New York Times magazine—puts Salma Hayek's big tits even front-er and center-er. Note the ridiculously obvious bottle-as-erect-penis positioning. Also notice that the lemon twist is the same shape as the cleavage created by Salma Hayek's big tits. Notice that the ice cube has been retouched to match Hayek's bracelet. Also, the ice cube probably represents one of the man's testicles.
previously in liquor ads:
1. What's on your headstone, Tommy?
2. The drunken conversation is waiting.
3. Worst. Anthropomorphism. Ever.
4. Captain Morgan Tattoo?


Blogger Chris said...

Note that Salma's friends don't have a bartender or a bar, so they just mix drinks on her big tits.

8:50 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dang, CR, there they were being all subliminal and stuff and you ruined it.

9:01 AM  
Blogger shedwa said...

Here's more imagery from the campaign.

9:09 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"simply using Salma Hayek's big tits and only Salma Hayek's big tits to sell their yucky liquer"

You say that like it's a bad thing. :-)

9:47 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

way to be subtle, campari. now that i've seen through your ruse i'm only going to buy HALF a case of your shit!

seriously though, i think the ads are taking unfair advantage of her pregnant, milk laden-jugs. i mean, she's out there!

10:02 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Too subtle. They are going to have to show an actual cumshot before I buy that shit.

12:04 PM  
Blogger Unknown said...

i'm so dissappointed...i was waiting for the "i'd fuck her" anonymous blogger on this one. where are you darling?

2:37 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Team cleavage.

2:48 PM  
Blogger ricpic said...

Ooh, I love symbolism. It's so deep.

2:57 PM  
Blogger John said...

Yeah, Campari. Instead of using your heritage of ads-as-modern-art (some of the old Campari ads were cool enough that I framed prints of them and hung them on the wall) you're instead using a PREGNANT WOMAN to SELL BOOZE. Classy.

It's even better that the use a woman who resembles a dead heat in a zepplin race even when she's not pregnant. But now that she is, damn. I mean, damn. Have you seen the latest batch of photos? She looks like she's gonna fall over forwards.

So, in conclusion, boobs. So I guess it works. But I'm not hanging it on my wall. That would be creepy.

4:12 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"have to show an actual cumshot before I buy that shit"

uh check out the trim on her dress that looks like it's been sploojed out from the bottle. i'd have aimed for her mouth!

11:56 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

And, notice the color correction to said ample bosom. Looks more goldeny, if that’s a word.

‘actual cumshot,’ ‘ample bosom,’ and ‘goldeny’ have now been worked into this thread.

My work here is done.

12:51 AM  
Blogger Unknown said...

Love this site and this post so much I wrote about it here:

I also forwarded these Salma Hayek ads to a professor I had in college who taught on this type of sexual imagery in advertising. I can't even believe the Monica Lewinsky stained dress!

10:41 AM  
Blogger Non Smoking Smoker said...

I'd like the 'Salma Hayek twin Airbag' optional extra put in my car. I'd fang it into an oncoming (heh) vehicle just so that people could say that my dying words were

"cannon's, boy's...luvverly cannon's"

11:51 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I bet Ed Norton had names for each one. ‘East’ and ‘West’ coast perhaps?

(Being an actor, they fly back and forth between the two you know.)

1:05 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Excellent point, John. If previous Campari ads were cool enough for you to hang on your wall, then the company really has something to live up to.

Do you live in an art gallery?



12:13 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

subliminAL messaGOREs

2:15 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Women looks thousands times attractive n sexy in her natural breasts curves without wearing (Brassier) anything inside dress. But for that she must need firm round beautiful and healthy breasts

10:53 AM  

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