This is your hyperbole. This is your phone.
(click ad to better read copy)
Paging through Gotham, one of the editorially-bereft vanity mags of the Jason Binn (prick) Niche Media crap-pile, I happened upon this breathtaking example of laughably-overwritten luxury product copy (Me, I would have added the line Activate Your Destiny.). When the least expensive cell phone you offer costs $6,600, simple puns or over-caffeinated cheerleaders or even Catherine Zeta Jones just won't do. No, we've reached New York City realty level hyperbole here. This is some tripled distilled, oak-barrel-aged bullshit.
previously in bad copywriting:
1. "Seduce Your Palate."
2. "Blow Off An Energy Hog."
3. "O' Stupid Billboard, O' Stupid Billboard."
4. "I'm a gay man trapped in the body of a fembot."
5. What's the one word you don't want to read at an airport?
posted by copyranter @ 9:25 AM
8 Comments:
$6,600! That's how many times a day I drop my phone. Let me know when these go on sale.
Very funny post!
Omitted line:
"The laughably small size of your penis."
And just as easy to lose as my free cheapo phone from Verizon!
What the hells' a "sense of craftsmanship"? Like a dash of craftsanship? A smidgen of style? Are they saying you can almost feel how they almost crafted this beauty?
If he keeps dialing like that he'll go blind...
How can it possibly be overblown if it's selling/justifying a $6600 phone??? \I thought it was pretty well-written for what it was, actually.
yeah magyar, I guess it's more just badly written as opposed to overwritten.
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